Notes from the Cave: Family Room Edition

What??  Two NFTCs in one week?  What's gotten in to me?

In any case, I'm working in the family room this morning because Sophie gets upset if she can't be up my ass 24/7, and she's not allowed in the Cave, so the laptop is performing its named duty and I'm sitting here typing while Sophie barks at the chair.

I read an article today about a 9-year-old girl who accidentally shot a gun instructor with an Uzi at a firing range in Nevada.  The poor man's death is tragic, undoubtedly.  Even more tragic is the fact that our society thinks it's okay for a 9-year-old to even look at, much less handle, an Uzi.

It's no secret that I don't like guns.  And it's no secret that I would like to see stricter gun laws in our country.  But I don't think there is any gun-related issue that I feel more strongly about than the utterly insane notion that it's okay for kids to own, handle, and fire deadly weapons.  Yes, I've heard all the arguments from the other side...how teaching children to respect guns and use them safely is how you create responsible gun-owners, yadda, yadda, yadda.

It's all horseshit.

By the same argument, children should be permitted to drive once they are tall enough to reach the pedals - which for most kids means about 13.  The truth is, children under 16 should not be permitted to handle or fire any kind of gun anywhere, ever, for any reason.  Period.

Okay, I'm off my political soap box.  Forgive me.

I had a very productive day off yesterday.  I finished the ghost-writing project I am doing for a friend, I mowed the lawn, I slaughtered a shit-ton of weeds around the fence and the edges of the house with some Weed B Gone, and I got the oil changed in my car.  I did all that and managed to take a nap too.  All in all, it was a good day.  I'm back to work this afternoon, but we're going to the lake for the holiday weekend coming up.  Hopefully the weather will hold up for us.

I'm waiting right now for UPS to arrive with a new umbrella for the deck outside.  A strut broke on our current umbrella, so one side of it is sagging and we look like proud white trash.  Until this heat wave of the last week, it's been a really nice summer for sitting in the shade on the deck.  I'm hoping to have some more nice outdoor weather once we get into September and October.

Check out that pink cummerbund!  This is me and M before Junior Prom at Princeton High School, 1992.  We'd been dating for a year and a half by this point.  I remember thinking I would have liked it better if she'd just done her hair like normal, instead of getting it all professionally gussied up.

Speaking of hair...this photograph proves that I once had it.

Notes from the Cave

It's been six weeks since I made a post on my blog.  That's problematic, and I apologize.

The good news is that at least part of the reason for my absence is because I've been getting some writing done.  I've made progress on my political parties book, which has been 90% complete for about a year now, and I've also been doing a significant ghost writing project for a friend, which is also almost complete.  

The biggest problem, as always, when it comes to writing is simply finding time.  Working 2nd shift, I leave the house around 1 pm every day.  I typically get up around 9 or 9:30, so that gives me 3 or 4 hours each morning.  That's plenty of time to write, but unfortunately I also have to take care of a 5-month old puppy who needs a lot of attention, exercise, eat lunch, and shower and get ready for work.  

By the time I've done all that, there's hardly any time left for writing.  I basically have to not exercise if I want to have a decent amount of time to write.  But that, of course, isn't something I need to give up.  I could, of course, get up earlier, or forego my beloved morning bath (yes, I'm gay), but working 2nd shift, it's really not feasible for me to get up much earlier without suffering for it on the back end of the day.  As for the bath, I do give that up a lot of days, but not always. 

Anyway, that's the problem I'm currently facing with writing.  The other thing to keep in mind is that, since my heart attack, my daily routine has become very important to me (that's where that morning bath comes in), and so that's another obstacle...figuring out a way to make writing part of my daily routine, rather than a disruption to it.

Sophie is entering the adolescent phase of puppy-hood, and although she's fully housebroken and well-trained, she is starting to test the waters a bit.  She's developed a habit of barking a lot to get attention, or nipping at feet/legs/pants.  I'm working to get that under control and am hoping it's just an adolescent phase.  She's been getting her adult teeth in...I think we've found four baby teeth to date.  She's almost six months, so she'll be having her womb torn out of her abdomen here pretty soon.  

I really do love that I'm able to walk her on a leash and actually take legitimate walks with her.  Our last dog, Finley, was basically never leash trained at all, and our first dog, Katie, would pull like crazy and also wouldn't let you get more than a few hundred yards from home before refusing to go farther.  With Sophie, we walk a mile or more at a time.  We did about a mile and a quarter yesterday.  

I've also recently added a new trick to her growing bag of tricks...the command is "Sphinx," or "Sit like a Sphinx," and she will do just that...lay down with paws outstretched in front and her head up.

I have to work this weekend, but next weekend (Labor Day) I am off until Monday night.  Unfortunately, I have to work third shift on Labor Day, but that will still allow us to go to the lake all weekend and come back Monday - which we would have done anyway even if I didn't work that night.  I'm then off again Tuesday and Wednesday too.  So with the exception of that one third shift, I'll essentially have five days off in a row without having to take a vacation day.  

As my faithful Twitter followers know, I have been watching Deadwood on Amazon Prime.  I have the Amazon TV box, so I can watch Prime videos on my TV as well as my Kindle.  I've waited 10 years to see Deadwood and it has not disappointed.  I just finished the first season and I loved it.  I'm already bummed that there are only two seasons left.  

I'm currently reading two books (one non-fiction, one fiction, as usual).  The non-fiction is a narrative history of the Norman conquest of England in 1066 called, aptly enough, the Norman Conquest.  For you history dummies, the Norman Conquest, by William the Conqueror, is what established the modern British monarchy and turned England into the country it is today - which is important since Britain would come to have such a profound influence on the entire world.  

The fiction book I'm reading is the first in a series by British writer Ken Follett called Fall of Giants.  It's historical fiction told against the background of World War I, and the second and third books in the series carry the story - and the families in it - up through the rest of the 20th century.  Like his other historical novels, it is absolutely wonderful.  Highly recommended it to anyone who likes historical fiction, and particularly 20th century history.  

  

Great Quote About Wealth Disparity

I saw this quote today and just had to share.

"The problem is not wealth. It's wealth without a conscience. The problem is wealth that is untroubled by the fact that some people are inordinately rich because some people are inordinately poor."

There's a reason that Jesus said, in Luke 6: "Blessed are you who are poor," and "Woe to you who are rich."

A Bit of Self-Reflection on a Tuesday

For those of you who don't know, I've started riding my bike again this year, and I am really enjoying being back on it again.  It has felt nice to conquer my fear of it after the little incident that occurred on it last March.  

In any case, one of the drawbacks to riding my bike is that my little area of the world is quite hilly. I suppose if I was training for the Tour de France, this would be a good thing.  But since I just ride for exercise and leisure, it kind of sucks to have very few flat areas where you can just sit back and ride.  

Because of this, a significant portion of my bike rides take place in a church parking lot that's just up the road from my neighborhood.  I ride up there and then spend a good chunk of the hour or so that I'm on my bike just riding in figure-eights around this nice, flat parking lot.  It provides a nice area for me to ride and get a decent workout, even though it's kind of boring.  

In any case, when I was riding my figure-eights today, I got to thinking about my stalled-out writing career, and the fact that I haven't finished a piece of fiction in about eight years, and haven't finished, or even done significant work on, a novel in eleven years.  I think being 39, and on the verge of the big Four-Oh, is weighing on me, because I've been thinking a lot about this lately.  I basically "gave up" long fiction when I turned 30, although it was only supposed to be temporary, so I could go back to school and get established in a good job before returning to novel writing later.

I graduated in December of 2009 and got a job in 2010, but the novel writing has pretty much remained in the OFF position.  I've made a few false starts on editing old books, and a false start or two on some short stories, but for all intents and purposes, I have simply become a small-time blogger, a work newsletter editor, and an occasional ghostwriter for friends' educational and professional needs.  And that's it.  There's nothing fiction about me anymore.  There's nothing book about me anymore.  

And I hate that.

So as I was circling the nice flat, easy-riding church parking lot today, doing my figure-eights, I was thinking about how I have done the same thing with my writing career - and my career in general - as I do with my bike riding routine. Avoiding the rigors of the hills and valleys, taking the easy way out, and just riding in circles.  

When I was 20 years old and a piano major in college, I didn't want to practice the piano two hours a day anymore, or give a scary public senior recital, so I quit music and majored in history instead.  Why did I major in history?  Because I wanted to do something important with that degree?  No, because it was the only thing I could major in and still graduate on time.

I took the easy way out.  Then, when I graduated, did I go on to graduate school, as I had long planned?  No, I decided to pursue a writing career, saying I'd go back to school when I was 30 if nothing panned out with the writing.  

When I turned 30, did I go to graduate school?  I did apply, yes, but when I didn't get accepted, I gave up and decided to do something simpler - namely X-ray school. 

Now I'm an X-ray tech, and have I gone on to get certified in another, higher-paying modality, like I planned in X-ray school?  

Nope. 

Instead I'm just riding in circles on the flat ground.  Taking the easy way out. 

Now, there's nothing at all wrong with being an X-ray tech.  That's not my point.  I enjoy being an X-ray tech and I'm not really interested right now in moving into a different area of imaging.  I also don't have much interest in administration.  

But I do want to write.  And there is no reason anymore, other than sheer laziness and taking the easy way out, that I shouldn't be writing again like I did in my 20's, when I completed five novels in about seven years.  

It's time for me to stop riding in circles.  It's time to stop avoiding the hills.  It's time to start seriously writing fiction again.

With that in mind, this anonymous comment I received recently on a blog post where I posted an Emily Dickinson poem, is quite timely: 

I have stumbled into your blog before, I see much less poetry these days! Write! :) Emily is wonderful but I enjoy your creativity. I'll undoubtedly peek back in a few months to look for progress. Lol 

I have no idea who left this comment, and the context implies that it's not someone I know.

So I prefer to think of it as a little vote of confidence, a little voice of encouragement, from God or the Universe or whatever you want to call it.

It's time to get to work.  It's time to write.

How the Government Spends Your Tax Dollars

The White House website has an interesting interactive page where you can go and look at how and where your federal tax dollars are spent.  Since people are always complaining about paying taxes, especially in regards to their pre-conceived notions about how those tax dollars are being used by the government, I thought it would be instructive to take a close look, based on this information from the government's website, about where, exactly your tax dollars go.  

The following information is based on 2013 tax and spending receipts, and is based on a married couple with two children who make $80,000 per year.  Let's call this family the Smith Family.  

The biggest single category that the Smith's 2013 income tax dollars went to was Medicare.  $484.89, or about 11% of their total income taxes paid, went to support Medicare payments to doctors and pharmacies.

Almost as much, $467.09, went to Medicaid (which provides basic health care services for poor people and children).  

Another $140 or so went to various other healthcare-related services, for a grand total of $1,093.50, or about 25% of the Smith's total income tax expenditures.  

Almost the exact same amount - $1,076.13, or another 25% of the Smith's tax dollars - went to various programs falling under the category of National Defense.  That category basically includes everything related to the U.S. military and its active operations and expenditures.  I stress the word "active" because it does not include Veteran's Administration costs or military retirement and disability programs.  Those two categories fall under a different heading.  The Smith's spent $213.15 on Veteran's benefits (including healthcare and income and housing support), and $224.00 on military retirement and disability benefits.  

Therefore, the total expenditures related to the military and its services, was about $1,500.00, or roughly 35% of the Smith's total income tax dollars - making it by far the largest category. 

The next category is what we generally think of as "welfare."  It includes a number of programs, including Unemployment Insurance ($23.44 for the Smith's in 2013), food stamps and school lunches for poor kids ($168.86), Supplemental Security Income, which pays for assistance to elderly poor and disabled people ($91.60), and Temporary Assistance to Needy Families, which is your basic welfare check to poor people ($30.39).  That's right, the infamous welfare check cost this family of four, making a household income of $80K per year, exactly thirty dollars in 2013.  

The total expenditures for the Smith family in this "welfare" category is $814.81. However, this category includes the aforementioned military retirement and disability program, and that's actually the largest program in this category.  It also includes retirement programs for railroad workers, child care, foster care, and adoption support, and spending related to various tax credits.  

What that means is that the total amount that the Smith family paid for actual federal welfare programs in 2013 was $314.29.

What remains after these large categories are a number of smaller categories like water and land management, environmental protection, educational programs, international affairs, including support of U.S. embassies abroad, border security, the federal judicial system, and natural disaster support funding.    

All told, the Smith family spent about $4,300.00 in income taxes in 2013.  Defense expenses, together with Medicare and Medicaid, accounted for almost exactly half of these dollars - about $2,200.00.  Adding in Veteran's Administration spending and military pensions, the amount goes up to about $2700.00, or about 60% of the total.  The remainder was divided up among several dozen smaller categories.

In addition to these federal income taxes, the Smith's, of course, also paid $4,960.00 for Social Security, and $1,160.00 for Medicare.  This second Medicare tax is separate from the $484 the Smith's paid to support Medicare payments to doctors and pharmacies.  This Medicare tax, which is taken separate from income tax, supports hospital services.  

In the end, the vast majority - almost 50% of the total - of the Smith's federal taxes went to Social Security.  About 20% went to Medicare and Medicaid.  About 15% went to Defense, military, and veteran spending.  

Those three categories alone - Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid, and Defense/Veterans - account for about 85% of the total federal taxes paid by the Smith's in 2013.  

Every single other federal government spending category is spread out among the remaining 15% of the Smith's tax expenditures.  Perhaps most significantly, roughly 3% of the Smith's total went to various federal welfare programs.  Only 0.3% (30 dollars) went to TANF, or the infamous "welfare check."  

I hope you'll keep these facts and figures in mind the next time you start to feel righteous indignation in how the federal government is spending your tax dollars.  It might also be important to remember that the government spends a great deal of money on so-called "corporate welfare," which is comprised of grants and subsidies to businesses.  This spending is categorized differently from other government spending and is therefore not included in the above analysis of how individual tax dollars are spent.  However, you should keep in mind that the U.S. government spends about 100 billion a year in these corporate subsidies, which averages out to about $6,000 per family in the United States.  

Notes from the Cave

It's been a bad few months if you're a Serene Musings fan.  And since there are SO many of you, that makes for a lot of unhappy people.  Thankfully, here's a Notes from the Cave for you.

When I was a kid, I really loved the Smurfs.  The Smurfs were pretty much my #1 cartoon.  Being that I grew up before the days of Cartoon Network, Netflix, the proliferation of every show imaginable on DVD and Blu-Ray, etc., cartoons were available on Saturday morning and for an hour or two in the afternoon after school.  And that was it.  As for the Smurfs - they were only shown on Saturday morning.  For that reason, I spent pretty much every Saturday morning glued to the television, with the highlight of the morning being the Smurfs, which I seem to recall came on at 9:30 and were shown until 11:00.  

90 minutes of cartoon bliss for young Scott.

Anyway, throughout my childhood, there was one episode in particular that was sort of like Shangri-La or the Lost City of Atlantis for me.  This was because I had seen this particular episode one time when I was really young, and I had really loved it, but then I never saw it again.  It entailed a Rip Van Winkle theme, and involved the Smurfs dressing up like old men with white beards in order to teach Lazy Smurf a lesson when he woke up from his nap.  Like Rip Van Winkle, Lazy thought he'd been asleep for decades, and everyone had aged in his absence.  

Even though rerun episodes were shown every week (except for the fall, when the new season episodes ran), I never again saw this particular episode.  Practically every week, I would wonder if maybe this was the week they'd show it...but it never came to pass.  The Smurfs got canceled in 1990, and I was a 15-year-old high school student by that time anyway, and I never did get to see that episode again.  It became, as I said, a sort of Lost Episode that I often thought about over the years.  It even took on a sort of mythical quality for me.  Had I really ever seen this episode, or did I dream it up one day in my childhood?  

Fast forward to the first week of June, 2014.  My 8-year-old daughter is on a Smurfs kick right now for some reason and so we were on Amazon Prime looking for Smurfs episodes to download for her.  

And that's when it happened.  

I'm flipping through the available episodes when I see this title scroll by on the screen:

Smurf Van Winkle 

There it is!  The Lost Episode!  IT DOES EXIST!  

So I downloaded it for $1.99 and finally, after a 32-year wait, I got to watch this mythical episode once again.  

Reading about it online, I discovered that it was an episode that first aired in Season Two - specifically in November of 1982, which is when I would have been in 2nd grade. Presumably, that was the one time I saw it.  

So that's one thing I can mark off my bucket list. 

As some of you may know, we recently got a new dog.  Her name is Sophie and she is a pure-bred Havanese, which is a toy breed similar in size to a Maltese or Westie.  

They were originally bred as circus dogs in Cuba (hence the name, which references Havana), and they are very good at doing tricks and learning commands.  We've had Sophie for about a month now, she's 14 weeks old, and I have already taught her to sit, stay, come, heel, beg, fetch, and ring bells on command.  We're continuing to work on those commands and also on leash walking.  We've had two previous dogs, and neither of them ever walked very well on a leash.  So I have been determined to leash train Sophie, and although it has been a battle at times, she is picking it up.  It's really important to me to be able to take my dog on a walk and not have her pulling and yanking on the leash the whole time.  

I planned for this dog much better than the previous dogs we bought.  I even read a book, before we got her, about raising puppies, written by Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer.  His techniques really do work.  Like he recommends, I have established myself as Sophie's pack leader, and it really does make a difference.  I can see now how we made numerous mistakes with our previous dogs, Katie (who died a few years back) and Finley, who was so bad we had to give him away after a year and a half.  

We went to Disney World in April and that was really fun.  It was my first time back since I was 15 years old, and it was the first time for my kids.  We went with my sister-in-law's family, so they kids got to experience it with their cousins.  

We had a really good time, and my 12-year-old actually acted like her old self for a week.  It was so nice to have a daughter who wasn't sullen and hostile every waking moment of the day!  Naturally, she went right back to normal when we got home.  Oh well. 

In July, we are going to see my parents in Texas.  It will be the first time we've gone there since 2008, and likely the last time we go, since my parents intend to retire next year and move up here to be closer to us.  That trip in 2008 is the only time I've been in the last decade, and the 6 years that have elapsed since that trip is the longest I've gone without a visit down there.  

Seems like there should be more to talk about, but I'll spare you.  

A Poem for May

Emily Dickinson has always been one of my favorite poets, and this is one of my favorite poems by her.  I was thinking of it today as I biked past a wide open field, so today seemed like a good day to post it.

TO make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee,—
One clover, and a bee,
And revery.
The revery alone will do
If bees are few.

Thoughts on Easter

For me, Easter isn't about empty tombs and Jesus's crucified body coming back to life. If you are like many people, that's what it is for you, and that's okay.

But for me, it's not important whether Jesus was bodily resurrected, or whether resurrection is better understood as a biblical metaphor.

What matters is its significance. What does it mean for us in the 21st century? And, more importantly, how does it change us?

For me, Easter is a celebration of the abundant life Jesus taught, embodied, and exemplified. It's a celebration of living life to the fullest - fully awake in the present moment - being the very best you can be, and loving to the fullest extent. It means embodying the lifestyle Jesus embodied - one of compassion, inclusiveness, selflessness, integrity, and hope. And those aren't just fancy words. There must be real action behind them.

Compassion: genuinely caring for the needs and concerns of others. Helping others.

Inclusiveness: recognizing that everyone, no matter what, is worthy of the love of God, and thus your love too. No one is excluded from God's kingdom.

Selflessness: putting the needs of others before your own. Living for others.

Integrity: embodying fairness and equality and honesty. Living ethically.

Hope: working to make positive changes now in order to make a better tomorrow for all people. Bringing about the kingdom of God.

That last one is important because hope isn't just about looking toward some future time when maybe things will be better. Hope is a proactive action. As one of my favorite bible scholars has shown, the advent of God's kingdom, in the biblical tradition, isn't a passive thing to be awaited. It's a collaboration between us and God. 

The kingdom of God becomes a reality on earth when we live this way. Jesus becomes Christ resurrected, and Easter becomes real, when we embody this life he modeled for us.

A Poem for April

I wrote this poem in 2007.  It's not a great poem, but it's the only one I ever wrote about April.  So here it is.

---

april alley cat

the cat

sits perched

atop a red SUV

in a downtown parking lot

on a cold april day

just staring at me

as though in a challenge

“what’re you gonna do about it”

not a damn thing

because its cold outside

and i want to get inside to my tea

"Transphobic" and Other Ridiculous Nonsense

Okay, so if you haven't heard the hubbub, here's what happened: at the Academy Awards the other night, Ellen DeGeneres, who was hosting, pointed out Liza Minelli in the audience and said: "Hello to the best Liza Minelli impersonator I've ever seen."  After everyone laughed, she added: "Good job, sir."

A lot of people - mostly those who don't realize the two women are friends - felt like the joke was mean and have been criticizing Ellen over it.  For instance, Sarah Thyre, who is an actress and writer (and also married to Conan's sidekick Andy Richter) tweeted:

Ellen's joke was mean and rude. Don't fuck with Liza Minelli. The End.
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) March 5, 2014

Another person said this:

Supremely nasty joke directed at Liza Minelli. Seriously Ellen, you know better than using humor in poor taste @TheEllenShow #Oscars
— Deanna Russell (@MsDeannaRussell) March 3, 2014

As a result of this backlash, some people have even gone so far as to accuse Ellen of being "transphobic."  Or, at the very least, stating that her joke was transphobic.

Transphobic?  Pardon my French, but are you fucking kidding me?

[rant on]
Okay, first of all, Ellen is openly and proudly gay and has been one of the biggest supporters of the LBGTQLMNOP (or whatever it's called) community for her entire career.  In fact, Ellen's prominent support of this community is one of the reasons why it is so widely accepted in modern society.  Ellen is a goddamned pioneer in this field, for crying out loud.  To suggest she is "transphobic," or that her joke was motivated by "transphobia," is ABSURD.  She and Liza Minelli are friends, it was a harmless joke, and, most importantly, the joke was referring not to transgendered people, but to the fact that drag queens (who, by the way, are not trannies, by the very definition of the word) frequently impersonate Liza Minelli!

Secondly, what the fuck is transphobia?!  There is no such thing as transphobia.  Just because you can cleverly take a Latin prefix and Greek suffix and add them together doesn't mean it's a real thing.  Transgendered people represent a tiny little fraction of the overall population.  They don't get their own phobia, mkay?  I started losing my hair when I was in college and have suffered bald jokes my entire adulthood.  Do I go around calling people "alopeciaphobic"?  Of course not, because that would be fucking stupid.  

I realize that transgendered people are frequently criticized and made the butt of jokes, and sometimes even persecuted and mistreated, but then again, so are a lot of people, and we don't go around inventing unique words for all of them in an effort to create a category that doesn't really exist.

If someone mistreats a tranny, or makes cruel jokes at the expense of a tranny, they're not transphobic, they're just an asshole.  And in any case, Ellen's joke doesn't fit either scenario!
[rant off]

Most of you know I'm an avowed liberal in practically every sense of the word.  I'm normally the one defending accusations like "racist" or "homophobic" when conservatives suggest those words are overused or inapplicable.  I think both those words represent legitimate categories.

But the word "transphobia," and especially the accusation that Ellen's joke was "transphobic," is just stupid.  In modern society, people seem to think they have a right to not be offended.  Sorry, but you don't have that right.

Just because something offends you doesn't mean you get to invent your own little category and bandy it about like a whip.

10 Fun Facts About Woodrow Wilson

Woodrow Wilson, the 28th President of the United States

1. Born in Staunton, Virginia, in 1856, Thomas Woodrow Wilson was a child during the Civil War.  His father's parents had lived in Ohio and his grandfather had published an anti-slavery newspaper, but his father, a prominent presbyterian minister, had taken his family to Virginia in the early 1850's, owned slaves, and supported the Confederacy during the war.  Wilson grew up in Augusta, Georgia, where his father served as the minister of the First Presbyterian Church.

 

2. Though he was largely home-taught, and struggled learning to read as a child, possibly due to dyslexia, Wilson was a good student and eventually attended Princeton.  He later studied law at University of Virginia and though he did not graduate, he later passed the bar and briefly worked as a lawyer in Georgia.  In 1883, he began attending Johns Hopkins University, where he earned a Ph.D. in history and political science.

 

3. While attending graduate school, Wilson married Ellen Axson and together they had three daughters.  Shortly after their marriage, Wilson finished his studies and began teaching at Bryn-Mawr College. 

4. In 1890, Wilson began teaching law and political science at Princeton and quickly gained prominence, becoming president of the university in 1902.  He held this position until 1910, at which point he decided to leave academia and enter politics.  

5. Elected governor of New Jersey in 1910, Wilson quickly gained national prominence and decided to run for president in 1912.  After a heated Democratic National Convention, Wilson won the nomination on the 46th ballot, outmaneuvering Speaker of the House Champ Clark of Missouri.  In the general election, Wilson benefited from a split in the Republican party and won the White House with just 42% of the popular vote, but a landslide in electoral votes.  

6. Wilson was one of only two Democrats who served as president between 1861 and 1933, and was the first Southerner in the White House since Andrew Johnson left office in 1869.  

7. In 1914, Wilson's wife died, making him only the third (and, to date, last) president to be widowed while in office (John Tyler and Benjamin Harrison were the others).  Wilson remarried the following year to a local widow named Edith Galt.  

8. In 1915, Wilson became the first president to attend a World Series game, throwing out the first pitch of Game 2 between the Boston Red Sox and Philadelphia Phillies.  

9. Narrowly winning reelection in 1916 against a progressive Republican, Wilson led the United States into World War One the following year.  Much of his second term was spent fighting with Congress for ratification of the Treaty of Versailles and America's entry into the League of Nations. Wilson had been one of the founders of the League of Nations, but Congressional Republicans blocked America's entry into the League because they feared it limited America's power to declare war independently.  

 

10. The fight over the League of Nations took its toll on Wilson's health, and for the last two years of his term, he was disabled by a series of strokes.  As there was, at that time, no clear constitutional precedent for what to do if a president became unable to perform his duties, Wilson's wife effectively led in his place.  The 25th amendment, adopted in 1967, finally addressed this issue directly.  Wilson died in 1924.    

The 10 Best Guitar Songs

Since I've been doing these top 10 lists about music lately and getting pretty good feedback, I figured I'd keep the series going.

For this one, I am considering the best guitar songs.  By "guitar," I mean "electric guitar" - there are certainly some fantastically-intricate and incredible acoustic guitar songs out there, but you won't see them on this list (Stairway to Heaven, anyone?).  My main criteria is not just guitar solos, but the overall guitars within the song as a whole (although the solo is a big part of it).  Like my list of the 10 Best Songs of Hard Rock, I have taken into consideration how widely known a song is, because no one wants a top 10 list of songs no one has ever heard of, even if they do have kick-ass guitar parts.  Be that as it may, I have not limited myself to only those songs that get a ton of airplay.   

Also, unlike that other list, I have not limited this list to just one style of rock music.  I've considered all possibilities, from the lite rock of the 70's to the most hardcore thrash metal.  You'll notice there are no songs on this list later than 1988.  That's not because I didn't consider songs of the last 25 years.  Instead, it's simply a sad reminder of how guitar-driven music has died a slow and painful death over the last two decades.  

10. Aqualung - Jethro Tull

British prog-rock band Jethro Tull has never been a particularly popular band in the United States, but they've been around since the late 60's and have sold (according to Wikipedia) more than 60 million albums worldwide.  "Aqualung" was the title track from their 1971 album, and it showcases a kick-ass guitar riff from beginning to end, together with a perfectly executed guitar solo in the middle by perennially underrated guitarist Martin Barre.

9. Telegraph Road - Dire Straits 

"Telegraph Road" isn't a Dire Straits song you're likely to hear on the radio, but if you think you've heard the best Mark Knopfler has to dish out in songs like "Sultans of Swing" and "Money for Nothin'," you are sadly mistaken.  "Telegraph Road" is, quite simply, a masterpiece of guitar music. The guitar solo at the end is overlaid with the sounds of a thunderstorm and, if you listen creatively, the solo, itself, plays the role of the flashing lightning.  It's musical and creative brilliance and never fails to give me chills.

8. Pride and Joy - Stevie Ray Vaughan 

Stevie Ray Vaughan was the quintessential guitar musician, and it was difficult to decide which of his masterpieces should be in this list.  Honorable mentions go out to "Texas Flood" and, especially, the live version of "The Sky is Cryin'," found on his Essential Stevie Ray Vaughan compilation.  In the end, however, "Pride and Joy" makes the list because it is his most widely-known song.  It showcases Vaughan at the height of his powers and never ceases to elicit a twist of the volume knob when that tell-tale opening riff roars out of the speakers.  Perhaps no guitarist in history could make his guitar wail like Stevie Ray Vaughan.

7. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd 

David Gilmour is, quite simply, one of the greatest guitarists of his generation, and his guitar work doesn't get any better than his performance on "Comfortably Numb."  If this list had been strictly about guitar solos, this song would have been easily in the top 3. The solo that closes out this song is simply one of the best of all time.  The song itself, however, despite having some lead riffs, isn't heavily guitar-driven, so #7 was as high as I could place it in good conscience.

6. Bodhisattva - Steely Dan

If you love guitar music, and you've never heard this song, you should YouTube it right this instant.  It's a weird song with odd lyrics, but the guitar work is absolutely brilliant.  Walter Becker is a guitar virtuoso.

5. Do You Feel Like We Do (Live) - Peter Frampton 

When it comes to kick-ass guitar music, it doesn't get much better than Peter Frampton.  His 1976 live album is one of the best-selling live albums of all time and is by far his most successful album. Frampton must be the only artist in history who is known primarily for a live album.  In any case, "Do You Feel Like We Do (Live)" is a classic guitar-driven epic of nearly 14 minutes, including an almost 10-minute guitar solo.  The song hits its peak around the 11th minute and just explodes into a frenzy of pure guitar rapture.  It's an orgasm in music.  

4. One - Metallica 

I was introduced to this song in 1989 by a friend of mine who is now a Presbyterian minister.  He bought the cassette single while we were on a youth group trip in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, and we listened to it in the church van.  I was absolutely blown away.  For me, this song is the quintessential heavy metal song.  Kirk Hammett's solos are perfectly executed and the song just kicks so much ass that it's hard to say which part I like best.  Speed metal at its finest.

3. Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns n' Roses

I love Guns n' Roses.  There has simply never been a better hard rock band than Axl, Slash, Izzy, Duff, and Stevie.  They were the climax of hard rock music.  Everything before them was leading up to them, and everything since has been a slow, steady decline.  Like Stevie Ray Vaughan above, I had a hard time choosing which song of theirs should be on this list.  "Coma," "Don't Damn Me," and "Civil War" get honorable mentions.  Also like Stevie Ray, I ultimately went with their most popular song.  "Sweet Child O' Mine" is a guitar masterpiece, from the the intro, which is one of the most recognizable guitar riffs in history, to the solo near the end, which demonstrates Slash at his creative and prodigious best.  This was the first song I ever heard by Guns n' Roses, and it's still one of my favorites.

2. Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd

If this list was just about guitar solos, "Freebird" would not only be #1, it would be #1 by such a enormous margin that no other song would be anywhere even remotely close to it.  But this list isn't only about guitar solos, so Freebird falls into the #2 spot.  Does anything even need to be said about this song?  If you're not aware of what an epic, timeless guitar solo Allen Collins throws down at the end of this song, you don't like guitar music.  My favorite version of this song is the 13-minute extended live version from the band's Essential Lynyrd Skynyrd collection.  Steve Gaines, who joined the band just a year or so before their fateful 1977 plane crash (in which Gaines, together with lead singer Ronnie Van Zant, died) adds a second guitar to the solo and the effect is just epic guitar euphoria.  Let's also not ignore the slide guitar work in the first part of the song by Gary Rossington.

1. 2112 - Rush

Probably a dark horse winner for many, but not for me.  You may not know much Rush music, and/or you may not like Rush, but if you are not able to recognize "2112" for the astounding, overwhelming, and utterly unmatched guitar masterpiece that it is, you don't know guitar music.  "2112" is the title track from their breakout 1976 album of the same name, and it is a brilliantly-conceived and flawlessly-arranged prog rock epic of more than 20 minutes, taking up the entire front side of the original vinyl album.  Alex Lifeson, undeniably the most underrated guitarist in rock history, weaves together an intricate tapestry of guitar artistry and brilliance, while Geddy Lee adds his trademark virtuoso bass lines, ultimately forming a song that simply represents everything you could ever want from guitar music.  "2112" is the greatest guitar song ever recorded.

The 10 Best Songs of Jimmy Buffett

Growing up in Louisville, Kentucky, I never heard of Jimmy Buffett.  But when my family moved in 1988 to Cincinnati, a city that has long had a love affair with him, I was very quickly introduced to the man, the music, and the myth.

I didn't take his music very seriously at first (my musical tastes at that time were almost exclusively used up by Guns n' Roses and a few other hard rock bands), but he slowly began to grow on me, particularly after his 1990 live album, "Feeding Frenzy," became a staple on the family CD player.  

By the time I graduated from high school in 1993, I had begun buying all of his back catalogue and completed it within a year or two.  Since that time, I have counted Buffett among my very favorite artists.  

After posting a list of the 10 best hard rock songs of all time, a friend of mine - who used to hear me playing Buffett nonstop through the walls of our adjoining dorm rooms in college - jokingly said he'd like to see a list of my 10 favorite Buffett songs.  I decided to take him seriously and make it happen. What follows is the result.

It's important to note that, in making this list, I did not take into consideration how popular or widely-known a given song was.  I have simply chosen the ten songs that I think demonstrate Jimmy Buffett at his very best.  

10. Livingston Saturday Night

This song first appeared on Rancho Deluxe, which was a movie soundtrack Buffett did in 1975. He then rerecorded the song (rewriting some of the lyrics to make it a bit less raunchy) and released it on his 1978 album Son of a Son of a Sailor. I've always said this was the closest Jimmy Buffett ever came to doing southern rock - and that's also why I like the song so much.

9. Tryin' to Reason With Hurricane Season

This is one of the few well-known Buffett songs that gets anywhere near my top 10.  A classic beach bum song from his best album, A1A, this was one of my first Buffett favorites.

8. L'Air de la Louisane

As the title implies, this song is sung entirely in French.  It's not an original Buffett composition, but was instead written by a singer/songwriter named Jesse Winchester, who is, apparently one of Buffett's friends.  Buffett has covered a number of his songs, and this one is easily the best.

7. School Boy Heart

From 1997's Banana Wind, this is one of Buffett's many autobiographical songs, and it has a great chorus and lyrics that have always inspired me.

I've got a school boy heart
a novelist's eye
stout sailor's legs
and a license to fly

6. Railroad Lady

This song is from Buffett's first major label album, A White Sport Coat and a Pink Crustacean, and it was later covered by Willie Nelson.  It's the only Buffett song that mentions Kentucky, but that's not why I like it.  It's a perfect example of acoustic country western music from the 1970's.

5. I Heard I Was In Town

This is a song from the mid-80's in which Buffett sings about going back to Key West after having lived there for a time in the 1970's.  As the title implies, it's an introspective look at coming back "home" after becoming famous.  This has always been the quintessential Key West song for me.

Changes have come like the storms of the season
but time here still moves slow

4. Tin Cup Chalice

One of three songs on this list from A1A, this song is quite simply the definitive beach bum song.

Give me oysters and beer
for dinner every day of the year
and I'll feel fine

3. Coast of Carolina

Easily my favorite Buffett song of the 21st century, and (obviously) one of my favorites of all time. 2004's album License to Chill wasn't a great Buffett album, but this song blew me away from practically the moment I first heard it.  In it, Buffett reminisces about his long relationship with his wife, and the lyrics have always hit home deeply with me.  If I let myself, I can actually choke up listening to this song.

From the bottom of my heart
off the coast of Carolina
after one or two false starts
I believe we've found our stride

2. Migration

This was the song that made me a Jimmy Buffett fan.  Back in the late 80's and early 1990's, I had, of course, heard all his standard hits, but when I heard this song from A1A, I realized that I really, really liked Jimmy Buffett.  Forget Margaritaville...for me, Migration is Buffett's signature song.

1. Brahma Fear

This song is sort of a dark horse winner.  It's not a widely-known Buffett song, nor is it one you hear discussed very often even among diehard Buffett fans.  He virtually never plays it in concert. It's just a plain old song buried deeply on his second album, Livin' and Dyin' in Three-Quarter Time, from 1974.  But it is, and has been for a very long time, my favorite Buffett song.  There's nothing spectacular about it, and the lyrics are typical of the kinds of songs he wrote during that era, but somehow this song just has a perfect sound, a perfect representation of acoustic, folksy, beach bum music from the 1970's that Buffett did, does, and always will do, better than anyone. In my opinion, Brahma Fear provides the best blend of all the unique elements that have made Buffett famous.  

The 10 Best Songs of Hard Rock

Despite having fairly broad musical tastes, my first true love has always been hard rock.  The first album I owned was Van Halen's 1984 (I was 9 when that album came out), and I later became a disciple of Guns n' Roses and other hard rock bands of the late 80's.  Even though I'm now more likely to be found listening to "80's on 8" or "Willie's Roadhouse" (classic country) on Sirius XM, hard rock still most definitely holds a special place in my heart.

So with that in mind, I decided to rank the top 10 greatest hard rock songs of all time.  It should go without saying that this is my list.  It's the songs I think represent the best of hard rock.  I've taken into consideration popularity and how widely recognized a song is (because a top 10 of obscure songs no one has ever heard of would be boring), but otherwise, the main factor is how much a song moves me and makes me want to run marathons and leap tall buildings in a single bound.

It's also important to note that I delineate a fine line between hard rock and heavy metal.  For that reason, don't be surprised to see no entries on this list from bands like Iron Maiden, Slayer, Judas Priest, or even Metallica.  

10. Black Betty - Ram Jam/Starstruck

Black Betty - YouTube

This southern rock anthem became a hit for Ram Jam in the late 1970's.  Ram Jam's version of the song was adapted from an old folk tune by blues musician Lead Belly, and was originally recorded by an indie Cincinnati band called Starstruck.  Starstruck dissolved soon after and the guitarist, Bill Bartlett, took the song to a record company, who immediately formed a band around Bartlett (Ram Jam) and released the song nationally.  The recorded version is simply an edited version of the original Starstruck recording, but was included on the debut Ram Jam album.  

This song kicks a whole lot of ass.

9. Love Song - Tesla 

Love Song - YouTube

When this song starts, you think it's just going to be another typical hair band power ballad.  But it goes way beyond typical.  This song just kicks more and more ass the farther along it goes.  The guitar solo gives me chills.  

8. Thunderstruck - AC/DC

Thunderstruck - YouTube

Speaking of kicking ass.  If you can hear this song and not turn the volume up, you don't like hard rock.  

7. Rooster - Alice in Chains

Rooster - YouTube

Alice in Chains had a bunch of songs that were ah-mazing, but Rooster has always been my favorite.  It's one of those songs that starts off sort of soft and slow, and yet it's so full of dark menace that you know it'll just explode later.  It's about the Vietnam war, and Vietnam songs never fail.  Layne Staley's voice is perfect on this song.

6. Slither - Velvet Revolver 

Slither - YouTube

A combination of Slash, Duff, and Matt from Guns n' Roses, fronted by Stone Temple Pilots' lead singer Scott Weiland, there was no way that Velvet Revolver wasn't going to be awesome.  If you can listen to this song's leading riff and not bang your head, you should try the Brittney Spears station.  Between his playing chops and his persona, Slash may be the greatest hard rock guitarist of all time.  

5. Kickstart My Heart - Mötley Crüe 

Kickstart My Heart - YouTube

I've always thought the members of Mötley Crüe were all pretty much shameless, self-promoting douchebags, but damn they have some songs that just rip the skin off your face.  This was the best of the bunch.  From the opening riff that sounds like an engine revving, to the driving, chest-thumping chorus, this song just kicks all manner of ass.  

4. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

Bohemian Rhapsody - YouTube

Forget the sub-category of hard rock, Queen's ambitious magnum opus from 1975 is undeniably one of the greatest songs of all time.  Although only the third segment of the song really constitutes the classic definition of "hard rock," the opening segment qualifies as a legitimate power ballad. Furthermore, the guitar solos that pepper this song are magnificent - some of Brian May's best work.  

3. Tom Sawyer - Rush 

Tom Sawyer - YouTube

As a certified Rush disciple, it was hard for me not to put Rush in the #1 position, but in fairness to the strict category of "hard rock," this is as high as I could reasonably put this prog rock band's signature song.  Tom Sawyer could end after 15 seconds, and it would still be a fantastic hard rock song.  Undoubtedly the best opening chord in rock history.  The instrumental in the middle of the song is a brilliant display of this 3-man band's collective prodigious playing skill.

2. Welcome to the Jungle - Guns n' Roses

Welcome to the Jungle - YouTube

A few years back, Welcome to the Jungle topped VH1's "100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs."  They weren't far off the mark.  The first song on Guns n' Roses debut album was a brilliant example of what hard rock should be in its purest, most powerful form.  One of the best vocal performances in hard rock history.  An unforgettable riff and chorus.  The archetypal image of 80's hard rock by a band at the absolute height of their powers.  This song still gives me chills after more than 25 years.     

1. War Pigs - Black Sabbath

War Pigs - YouTube

On the off-chance that you've never heard this song, click the link above right this second. There simply is no better hard rock song than War Pigs, from 1970.  It has all the elements required to create the ultimate hard rock song - a kick-ass riff, amazing drums, a goose-bump-inducing solo, brilliant vocals, and gritty, poignant, utterly in-your-face lyrics.  Perfection in every way.  The quintessential guitar song.  The quintessential anti-war song.  Quite simply, the quintessential hard rock performance.  

Memoirs of a Georgetown Freshman: Second Semester

Part I: First Semester

Part II: The Blizzard of January 1994

Part III: Joining the President's House Association

Following my invitation to become a member of PHA at the beginning of the spring semester of my freshman year, I gratefully moved out of run-down, frigid, no-doors-on-the-bathroom-stalls Anderson Hall.  My new room was on the third floor, rear side, of the PHA house.  I had a wonderful view of the parking lot, and the Phi Mu and Phi Tau houses.

The back of the PHA house is in the center of this picture.  My room consisted of the 2 windows on the upper right.  Phi Mu house is to the right.  

All the rooms on that floor were 4-man rooms (as opposed to the 2-man rooms on the second floor), and I was living with my friend, and fellow freshman music major, Sammy, as well as two upperclassmen named Tony and Chad.  Although I was glad to be out of Anderson Hall and into the PHA house, I pretty much hated living in that room.  With three roommate, privacy is rare, and the room was always a wreck.

Living with Sammy proved to be, more or less, the undoing of our friendship as well.  I never will forget the day we were moving in, and I was playing Guns n' Roses on the stereo as we moved our things in, and Sammy got incensed about it and essentially made me turn it off.  I don't think it was a religious thing (I don't recall Sammy being hyper-religious); I think he just didn't like hard rock and didn't want to hear it.  I remember being so shocked by his reaction that I just sort of meekly agreed to turn it off.

As I've demonstrated in the last three posts about my freshman year, there are a lot of things I remember about first semester and the beginning of second semester.  However, following the blizzard and my joining of PHA, my memories of the remainder of that second semester are fairly hazy.

I became more and more involved with activities in the fraternity and with a growing number of new friends, and I became less motivated for classes and practicing the piano.  I still practiced a lot (going down from three hours a day to two hours a day still means a lot of piano practicing), and I still made all A's and B's, but time would show that my GPA steadily declined each semester I was in college, until I finally fell below 3.0 my senior year.  Thankfully, the trend reversed in my very last semester, and I raised my GPA so that I graduated right at 3.0.  Regardless, that downward trend began during that second semester of freshman year.

Most of my remaining memories of that semester are just snapshots.  I remember "sinking" in our fraternity's finale to our pledging period (we were called "boats" instead of pledges, and "all boats sink").  I recall getting a bleeding cut on my knee in the festivities (read: "all out brawl") that took place before the sinking (thanks Dan), so that I spent the next few weeks worried that I had gotten some horrible disease from the nastiness that we were thrown into.

I remember the family picture that my roommate Tony had on his dresser and it looked something like this:

All 70's and rural and about 50 brothers and sisters

I remember getting a tie-dyed PHA Homecoming '93 shirt at Senior Send-Off that I still have to this day in the back of my drawer.  It's ripped to shreds from years of being worn as an undershirt, but I've kept it for sentimental reasons (not because I was close to the person who gave it to me, but simply because, along with a hat, it ended up being the only piece of PHA paraphernalia that I didn't give away myself at Senior Send-Off four years later).

My girlfriend did poorly in a very difficult elementary education class during the fall semester, so her GPA was not high enough for her to join a sorority.  She was devastated about that, because all her friends were joining one, and I remember feeling really bad for her.  As a result, she spent a lot of time at the PHA house with me and got to know a lot of the guys.  A senior named Rob had given all of the new members nicknames, but for some strange reason, only mine stuck.  From the time I joined PHA, up to the present day, I have been known to my Georgetown friends exclusively as Schmoo.  Because she was at the PHA house all the time, my girlfriend quickly became known as Schmoo-ette (or sometimes Schmoo-etta).

I don't really remember our spring formal that year.  Even though it was my first, it obviously didn't make much of an impression on me.  I never really liked dances anyway, and felt awkward at them - especially when I was a freshman.

After the semester ended, we packed up our things and returned to my girlfriend's house in Cincinnati.  I don't remember exactly why, but my parents (who lived in Houston) were not able to come pick me up and bring me home right away, so I spent about a week at my girlfriend's house.  It was May, and she and I, along with her Dad, went down to the lake in Tennessee for a few days.  We both remember that trip fondly.  It was warm and beautiful the whole time we were there, and we had a really great time out on the boat.  I remember Jackie Kennedy Onassis dying while we were there (that was May 19, 1994), and watching the reports on the news.  Her death was less than a month after Richard Nixon had died.

My father-in-law mowed the grass there one afternoon and accidentally shot a rock straight through the passenger window of his car.  We had to drive five hours home with the window wide open.  Thankfully, the weather remained nice the whole time.

After we got back, my dad came to pick me up for the day-long drive down to Houston.  I remember crying as I waved to my girlfriend as we drove away.  I soothed myself by listening to Jimmy Buffett's entire discography, in chronological order, during the 16-hour drive home.

I cried because I was going to miss my beloved M, but I think I also cried because the best year of my life was over, and I had to go to a city I'd never lived in before and get a job and be away from not just my girlfriend, but all my new friends too, for an entire summer.

Those four years of college really were the best of my life, and though in later years I would look forward to going home at the end of the year, I always was excited to get back in the fall and become, once again, part of that magical community that was PHA and Georgetown College in the mid-1990's.    

Memoirs of a Georgetown Freshman: Joining the President's House Association

Part I: First Semester

Part II: The Blizzard of January 1994

After having classes canceled for a week, and being snowed-in without electricity, classes finally resumed on Monday, January 24th.

By this time, I had decided that I was going to take part in the fraternity rush period that was set to start that week, and I planned on joining the President's House Association, a non-Greek organization whose members I had been getting to know.  Besides having no national Greek organization, the main difference between PHA and the other fraternities was that the members had to vote unanimously for you to get in.  If even one person voted no, you were out.  This was highly intimidating to me and my friends who were interested in joining, but for me especially because I was very shy and really didn't know that many of the members - just a handful who were in the music program.  Going over to "hang out" in the PHA house - something a lot of hopefuls did - was too intimidating for me, so other than attending the weekly PHA devotions (yes, you read that right...PHA wasn't the only fraternity on Georgetown's campus who held weekly devotions), I never really spent much time in the house, among the members, before rush week. 

The black, cloth awning was added years after I graduated, as a way to keep people from climbing out the second floor windows onto the flat, concrete awning that is hidden by the black part.  My room was one of those rooms over the awning on the second floor, on the right.  One year, I went onto the awning in my towel after a shower, in the winter, to wave at people as a joke, and someone locked the window on me.  I think there was a picture in the house scrapbook of me, on the awning, dodging snowballs in my towel.  

I think that first week back, PHA held its so-called Formal Rush Party (there was an Informal gathering in the fall, which I think I did not attend), and this was an opportunity for all those interested in joining to come and meet people and mingle and learn about the house.  I recall impressing a group of members by playing the 3rd movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on the house baby grand piano (yes, the house had a baby grand).  However, without even realizing it, I distinguished myself much more fully in a different way.

One of the members - Todd - who fancied himself a comedian and the house joker, was going around with a video camera and recording and "interviewing" all the potential candidates.  The idea was actually a good one, because (as I would later find out) when it came time to vote, a lot of members didn't know who the person was they were actually voting on.  So being able to watch a video with all the people's faces was a good way to remind people who was who.

When Todd and his cameraman (I think the cameraman was either Chris or another guy everyone called Guano) came up to me, Todd asked me why I had come to the rush party.  I was thrown for a loop because it seemed like a dumb question with an obvious answer.  So, in my nervous, shy way, I blurted out: "Because I want to be a PHA!"  Well, duh!

Afterward, I felt like I had blown my opportunity, like a beauty pageant contestant who flubs her big question.  I wished I had been able to think of something funny or clever to say instead of sounding desperate to get in.  However, I later found out that my comment had gone over pretty well when everyone watched the video at the voting meeting.  If he wants in that badly, let him in! "Because I want to be a PHA" became a sort of slogan that people repeated for the remaining four years I spent at Georgetown.

On the night of voting, me and my friends stayed up all night in Anderson Hall waiting for "the call" telling us to come downstairs to learn our fate.  The PHA voting meeting always took all night, as a matter of course, so it was probably about 4:30 in the morning when the calls finally came, one by one.  As each call came, the guy who was summoned left the room, never to return.

I was the last man standing.  Everyone got called before me and I was left alone in a gradually-sinking depression in the room.  Finally, the phone rang and I was told to come downstairs.  All the PHA's were there in the lobby, but they all noticeably ignored me as I walked down the stairs.  I was quietly ushered into a side room with Raymond, one of the upperclassmen music majors - he was the PHA who knew me best at that time.  He tried to pretend that I had been voted out, but I could tell it was all a set-up.  He finally pulled out a PHA letter shirt and put it over my head and welcomed me into the fold.

I'm not ashamed to admit it was one of the proudest moments of my young life.

My four years as a PHA at Georgetown totally changed my life.  I've always been proud of the fact that, as of 1997 when I graduated, I was the only PHA in the organization's history to win all three major house awards: Most Talented (sophomore year), Most Spirited (junior year), and Most Outstanding (senior year).  I don't know if that "record" still stands or not, and certainly no one else ever cared, but it still meant something to me.

Sophomore year house picture.  I'm in the dead center, looking somber as hell.  Somehow, I though we were doing a "serious picture," even though I was OBVIOUSLY the only one under that delusion.

Senior year, with our "Lil' Sisses."  I'm squatting on the right.  My wife is standing in front of the window on the left, two people up from the dork (Matt) in the cowboy hat.

My graduating PHA class.  Me and Mike are on the right, Sammy is on the left, and John is third from left.  Those three are the guys I waited with that night in Anderson Hall, along with Brian, who graduated before us (and, sadly, died a few years back).  The other two in this picture are Jason and Phil.