Notes from the Cave

I don't really have much in me tonight, but I feel like I need to put something out there on the airwaves to appease my multitudinous reading audience.

It's hard to believe it's been nearly 6 months since I last wrote a legitimate essay on religious scholarship.  What the heck has happened to me?  I started a book on Paul about 2 months ago and I don't even remember where I was.  I've only read about 15 pages, and haven't touched it in probably 6 weeks.  Obviously I've burned myself out; the question is, will I ever get interested again?  And what about the 4 or 5 unread books I still have on my shelf?  Will they ever be read?

Guess it's a good thing I never went to graduate school in this field - there was a time when I seriously considered it.

I suppose if this apathy keeps up, I'll have to redesign my blog, since it's hardly a "resource for fellow travelers on the Way" anymore.

In sporting news, unless you are a UK basketball fan, or maybe possibly a Green Bay Packers fan (because they're the only other sports fans I can think of that are like UK fans), you can't possibly understand the pleasure I have derived from UK's success this past weekend in the NCAA tournament.  As I wrote in my last post, I didn't have high hopes of UK beating Ohio State, but I said they could do it if they brought their A-game.  And bring it they did, particularly on defense.  It was without question their best defensive outing of the year.  And it was really, really exciting to see them put down the tournament favorite and the team that was basically on top of the standings all year.  

And then to have UK turn around and beat the old blueblood nemesis UNC on Sunday was just a huge cherry on top.  I was so emotionally spent from Friday's game against Ohio State that I only DVR'd the UNC game on Sunday, and watched it only after finding out the score.  I know that may sound like poor fan behavior, but it's an indication of how emotionally connected I get to big games like this.  I simply couldn't take doing it again 36 hours after the heart attack I had over the OSU game.

You may recall this post I made prior to the start of the post-season.  In it, I listed five reasons not to discount UK in the NCAA tournament.  Even though I was arguing for UK being poised to make a deep run, I even admitted that I didn't hold out much hope for a championship.  That, of course, has all changed now, and now I feel like they have a very legitimate shot.  I pretty much regard the upcoming Final Four game against UCONN as I did the games against OSU and UNC - with guarded optimism.  They can let Kemba Walker get his points; it is the rest of the team they need to shut down.  If they do that, I think they will succeed.  If not, then UCONN probably moves on.

Win or lose, a Final Four year is always a successful year, and it is nice to have that monkey off our collective backs.  Prior to this, UK was on it's longest streak ever without a Final Four appearance - 12 seasons.  It's even more special this year because it was somewhat unexpected - certainly by the mainstream media - and particularly after last year's team should have made it and did not.  

And let me do a little shameless bragging: ESPN offers a huge NCAA Tournament bracket challenge each year.  It's all free and all you win is bragging rights - so I'm bragging.  I did 5 brackets, and one of them is in the 99.2 percentile - meaning it's better than 99.2% of the entries.  That's out of about 6 million.  Naturally I didn't pick Butler and VCU in the Final Four, but I did get Kentucky and Connecticut.  Unfortunately I picked Pittsburgh to win it all.

On the medical front, I am still having off and on stomach problems.  I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but I have found, oddly enough, that Advil eases the pain.  This came as quite a surprise to me, because who would think to take Advil for a stomach ache?  The only reason I even tried it is because I was desperate in the middle of the night one night and was willing to try anything to ease the discomfort.  I've been wondering about this, of course, and today a patient said something to me that clicked: she was telling me about her medical history, and mentioned that ibuprofen (which is what Advil is made of) helps her "stomach issue," which she went on to say was a hiatal hernia.  A hiatal hernia is when the top of your stomach protrudes through your diaphragm - the muscle that separates your chest from your abdomen.  The hole there is for the esophagus to connect to the stomach, but sometimes the stomach will push through it.

I've wondered all along if this issue of mine could be a hiatal hernia, but I kind of forgot about it after the doctor didn't act like she thought that sounded likely.  Now I'm wondering again if that's what it is after all.

In any case, I haven't been able to get back to see the doctor because I've been so busy.  The stress of work and everything else in my life certainly doesn't help stomach problems.

This post has gone on way too long, particularly considering I said at the outset that I didn't have much in me tonight.  Guess I was wrong about that.

Notes from the Cave

The kids finally have a bunch of other kids in the neighborhood to play with.  This is a first for them.  We didn't live in our first house long enough for our older daughter to ever reach the point of playing outside, and in our second house, there were no other kids on our end of the street for her and our younger daughter to play with.

That's all changed now.

Across the street are two boys and a girl.  Next to them are two girls who are the same ages as my two girls.  And next door to us is another girl and boy.  There are a few others a bit farther down the street as well.  It's been sunny and warm this week, and the adults all stand around outside talking while the kids run rampant across the yards of four houses.  We've been getting all the good neighborhood gossip and finding out about the people who lived here before us.  Turns out, the original owners are people M knows from the school where she teaches (which is just around the corner from us).  That's a bit weird for her, as you can imagine.  

Someone - I think it was a commenter right here on my blog - suggested jumping rope to get some exercise, and I've taken their advice.  I've been keeping a log each day ("not that I have a log") of how many jumps I do - 50 has been the minimum I've started with.  It's a heck of a lot harder than you might think - especially if you are 50 pounds overweight like I am.  I can feel fat and tissue in my body jiggling that I didn't even know I had. 

I've had to start taking Prilosec for a stomach problem that has cropped up over the last few weeks.  Basically, I've been having frequent - sometimes constant - upper abdominal pain.  No nausea or vomiting or anything like that, just a stomach ache that comes and goes.  I got an Ultrasound of my gallbladder, to rule out an infection there (the exam was negative).  The Prilosec seems to be helping so far, but we'll have to give it a little more time to make sure the symptoms don't come back (they went away originally for about a week before coming back again, and it was after that second bout that I started the Prilosec).  

My house will be infested with 3rd graders this weekend.  My oldest is having a belated birthday party.  Her birthday is in early January, and that was a really bad time for us (we were still in the apartment, and getting ready to move), so we had to postpone her sleepover with friends until now.  The Cave is going to be Romper Room for a night, and M is bugging me to get the Wii set up downstairs for them.  

Saw a Motley Crue concert on TV the other day (sorry, I ain't searching the keyboard to figure out how to put the little umlauts over the o and u).  It was from 2005, and they are all wasted old ex-addicts, but they still sound really, really good.  Nikki Sixx somehow manages to make bedhead look cool.  I don't know how he does it.

Most former heroin addicts don't look this good.  Believe me, I see them at the hospital all the time.

In the world of college basketball, I was happy to see UK get past West Virginia - whom they lost to in the Elite Eight last year - and move on to this year's Sweet Sixteen.  I'd love to say I think they have a good shot at beating OSU in the Sweet Sixteen, but I don't see it happening.  If UK brings their A-game, then it might happen, but anything less than their best is not going to cut it, and even their best may not cut it, if OSU is also on their own A-game.  

A recent Facebook post that eleventy billion people "liked" said something about a spur-of-the-moment standing ovation that a group of people in an airport gave to a group of soldiers getting off a plane.  First of all, I suspect the whole story was probably made up for the purpose of giving people a warm fuzzy.  Secondly, can you gag me a little bit deeper, please?  Sheesh.  Just because a few hippies spit on a few Vietnam vets and called them baby killers 40 years ago doesn't mean the rest of us should have to spend our lives making up for it.  I'm all behind our troops, hope no harm comes their way.  But I ain't gonna applaud them when they walk by, for cripe's sakes.

Federal taxpayer money spent each year on NPR: About $7 million.  

Federal taxpayer money spent each year on Congressional salaries: About $105 million.  

How about instead of de-funding NPR, we cut Congressional salaries by 7%?  

Conversation on the Japan Tragedy

The following is a fairly close recounting of a conversation I overheard today while in the waiting room at the doctor's office.  The two people having this conversation were pharmaceutical reps in suits and ties.

Man 1: So was it an earthquake and then tsunami, or did the tsunami happen first?

Man 2: I thought the earthquake was first.

Man 1: No, I'm pretty sure the tsunami hit, and then the earthquake happened after that.

Man 2: Well, what caused the tsunami then?

Man 1: Hmm.  I don't know.

Brief pause.

Man 1: All I know is that as soon as I heard about it, I thought: "Man, what did YOU do to piss off God."

haha aha haha chuckle chuckle hmmph hmmph hardy har har

Man 2: I couldn't help but think of a Godzilla movie.  You know...everybody running around saying "aaaghh!"

hahaha  haha chuckle chuckle hardy har har tee hee hee

They're Sending the Old Man Home

He's afraid he's talking too much.

"I don't have anybody to talk to at home," he explains.  

It's okay, I assure him.  No problem at all.  

He fought in World War II, he says.  An infantryman in the Army.  He went to Italy and fought the Germans there.  The Nazis were fortified up in the hills and mountains; his platoon was below, hiding in the valley.

Another soldier wanted to get up and run.  He told him to stay in the hole, that moving now would reveal their position, put the whole platoon at risk.

"Says who?" the soldier demanded.

"Says this bullet in this rifle," he replied.  

The soldier stayed put, but later reported him to the senior officer.  The major took his side, told him he'd done the right thing.  

"I wanted to keep my boys safe," he says.  "All of them."  

Some of his friends from boot camp died in Normandy, he says.  Omaha Beach.  They were hillbillies, loved playing guitar and singing bluegrass music.  He took a liking to them, because his mother was from Appalachia.  He sings me a line from one of the songs they used to sing.  

They both died getting off the transports.  Never even made it to shore, as far as he knows.  

"Put your hands together and bring your elbows up," I tell him.  "Like you're saying a prayer."

He does that a lot, he says.  Talks to Him all the time.  

He's married and his wife is still living, but she's in a home now.  They're going to put him in a home now too, because he can't take care of himself anymore.  He's sure they'll take good care of him there.  It'll be a nice place.    

He loves our hospital.  Says it's where he always likes to come.  We take good care of him.  We're good people.  

He's still talking as the transporter wheels him away.  

I finish my paperwork, but I'm still thinking about a kid in Italy under German fire, and an old man in a hospital on his way to a nursing home, and I feel small.  

5 Reasons Not to Ignore the Wildcats

Only in Kentucky can a 22-8 regular season, finishing up with a top 15 ranking, be considered a “down” year for a college basketball team.  But that’s the stark reality of the thing.  We have high expectations, and for most of us, anything less than at least a Final Four will be a letdown.

“Down” years aside, I think it is a bit premature to dismiss Kentucky as a potential NCAA tournament threat.  Am I going to place money on a Kentucky championship this year?  Well, probably not.  But I think it would be a mistake to assume they are a non-issue.  Consider these five points:

1.  John Calipari.  Look: we all know that Calipari is one of those coaches that people love to hate.  I couldn’t stand the guy before he came to Kentucky, but I was thrilled when he got here.  Love him or hate him, he’s taken his previous two teams to the Final Four and made them programs of national prominence.  We can argue all day over how much involvement he has had in any underhanded recruiting issues (the NCAA has said none), but none of that changes the fact that his teams have been contenders because of good coaching.  He’s got what it takes to get his team ready for a deep run in the tournament. 

2. Points + Rebounds per Game.  Kentucky is in the top 30 in both points and rebounds per game – 24^th in points, and 26^th in rebounds.  That’s better than Ohio State, Notre Dame, Wisconsin, and Pittsburgh, just to name a few. 

3. Record Against Ranked Teams.  Kentucky is 5-2 against teams ranked in the top 25 this year, with the two losses coming on the road to Vanderbilt and Florida.  They beat a good Louisville team at Louisville by 15 points.

4. Home Crowd Advantage.  Kentucky plays phenomenally at home.  In fact, they haven’t lost there in over two years.  Their Achilles heel this year has been road games in the SEC.  They were embarrassed several times, including at Arkansas in late February.  In the NCAA tournament, they won’t be playing any SEC road games.  Of course, they also won’t be playing any home games at Rupp Arena.  But anyone familiar with Kentucky basketball knows that when Kentucky plays neutral site games – particularly in the NCAA tournament – the crowd is almost always predominantly blue.  This is one of the benefits of having a devoted fan base like Kentucky has.  They follow you wherever you go.  This season, in non-SEC road games and neutral site games, Kentucky is 5-2, with three of those wins against top 25 teams. 

5. Overall Record.  Kentucky’s overall record this season was 22-8, good enough to put them 15^th in the final regular season AP poll.  It doesn’t seem nearly as impressive, however, as Ohio State or Kansas’ 29-2.  But consider this: of Kentucky’s eight losses, five of them were by 2 points or less.  That means Kentucky is literally a mere 10 points away from being 27-3.  Ten points.  A few made free throws here, a few stops there, and Kentucky is probably ranked in the top 5, maybe even the top 3.  All five of those close losses, by the way, were true road games – 4 in the SEC and one at UNC (who, by the way, is currently ranked 6^th in the country). 

All in all, I think that Kentucky’s performance this year, and their subsequent record, is deceptive.  It only seems like they aren’t a legitimate NCAA threat this year.  In fact, they are only 10 points away from being a top 3 or 4 team!  For those of you who like the numbers games, their RPI this year is 12^th best in the country, and their all important Strength of Schedule is also 12^th – higher than Ohio State, Duke, Pittsburgh, and Notre Dame – all of whom are in the discussion for number 1 seeds in the tournament. 

Christianity and Paganism: A Casual Discussion

After being asked a few months back about my views on how paganism may have influenced Christianity, I have spent quite a bit of time attempting to write out a nice essay explaining my opinions.  Unfortunately, I have found it next to impossible to "get it on paper," as the saying goes.  After several valiant efforts, I have abandoned the originally essay.  Instead, I want to just talk briefly and casually about my thoughts on this subject.

In recent years - thanks in large part to the Internet - there has been a lot of talk and discussion about the influence of pagan ideas and beliefs on the rise of Christianity.  A few years back, there was an Internet movie called Zeitgeist that caused quite a sensation in this regard.  It was ultimately a film about how 9/11 was an inside job, but the first segment of the film discussed some incredibly provocative theories about the origins of Christianity and its connection to pagan beliefs - particularly the religion of ancient Egypt.

I wrote a long and scathing critique of the movie's religion segment a few years back, so I won't repeat myself here, other than to say that virtually the entire thing, from beginning to end, was balderdash of the most insidious kind.  Be that as it may, the movie has helped to spark some healthy debate on the subject.  There have also been some books out recently discussing these topics, though I have not personally read them.

To put it simply, I think the question of pagan influence on Christianity turns first on what aspect of Christianity one is talking about.  In terms of Christian theology and doctrine, there can be no doubt that paganism had a profound effect.  Beginning in the 2nd century, Christianity had become almost exclusively "Gentile" - that is, non-Jewish.  A a full-blooded Jewish sect in the 1st century, Christianity went through a painful separation in the last few decades of that century and by the year 100 or so, it had essentially become a whole new religion.  

As a Gentile religion, it sought converts from among the pagan religions of the Roman empire.  Like any religion, most of its adherents eventually came from within - that is, they were born to Christian parents.  But in the first few centuries of Christian history, many, many former pagans converted to the new religion, particularly in the 300's C.E., after it became the official religion of the empire.  It was during this same time, of course, that much of the theology and many of the doctrines Christians still follow today were developed and put into practice.  As such, pagan beliefs that converts brought with them deeply and greatly influenced the development of Christian theology and doctrine.  

Consider, for instance, the doctrine of the Trinity, which could easily be viewed (particularly by an outsider) as watered-down polytheism: three gods in one, separate but equal.  This doctrine was formulated during those early centuries when pagan (i.e. polytheistic) beliefs were still common.  

Related to that issue is the question of the divinity of Jesus.  This was a huge issue in the early church, particularly during the 2nd century.  Was Jesus God or man?  Divine or human?  The Trinity, of course, ultimately answered that question for Christians, but the very nature of the debate was the result of non-Jews attempting to understand the distinctly Jewish stories about Jesus.  I am firmly convinced that no self-respecting Jew - even a Jewish Christian - would ever have considered Jesus to be one and the same with God.  Such a notion would have been so fundamentally contrary to all that it means to be Jewish that only non-Jews could have considered it.  Jesus-as-God is a notion that did not arise in Christianity until it became a Gentile religion.  Among pagan religions, the belief that humans could be gods was commonplace, so common, in fact, that it's one of the defining characteristics of many ancient religions.  It is not surprising, then, that the Gentile-dominated early Christian church was amenable to the notion of Jesus being one and the same with God - a notion that would likely have left Jesus's earliest followers, not to mention Jesus himself, in the stunned silence of a major blasphemy. 

So on that subject - pagan influences on Christian doctrine and theology - there is no doubt that it played a major role.  

This, however, is not particularly controversial.  What is far more provocative is the idea that paganism influenced the very telling of the Jesus story itself.  Forget 2nd and 3rd century institutional doctrine; these theories suggest that Jesus may never have existed at all, and whether he existed or not, the stories about his life were developed from pre-existing themes in ancient religion and don't really represent anything historical.

These theories and arguments make for good fiction - and if you ask the producers of Zeitgeist, probably a lot of money too - but in my opinion there is very little of substance to them.  Zeitgeist, as I said, is a pack of lies from beginning to end, but even among the more "mainstream" theories of pagan influences on Christianity, most of it is unfounded speculation.

One thing that any reputable historian of early Christian history will tell you is that the stories of Jesus, and the entire gospel tradition, is a deeply and profoundly Jewish one.  Indeed, the inability (or unwillingness) over the ages of institutional Christianity to recognize the distinctly Jewish nature of Jesus and the stories about his life is, in my opinion, one of its biggest failures.  There is virtually nothing in the gospel tradition about Jesus that cannot be traced to some aspect of Judaism and Jewish history and tradition.  

Consider, for instance, the story of Jesus' birth.  This is one of the more popular stories that the revisionists like to link to paganism.  There's no question that Jesus wasn't the first person in history to have a virgin birth story connected to him.  Therefore, Luke and Matthew must have drawn it from pagan sources, right?  Not necessarily.  All the themes from these accounts of Jesus' birth can actually be traced right back to the Old Testament - the Jewish scriptures.  For crying out loud, Matthew even quotes Isaiah to back up his claim that Jesus was conceived by a virgin.  This idea doesn't come from pagan influence - it comes right out of the sacred scripture of the Jews!   

The same is true for many of the other stories about Jesus's life.  Consider the 12 disciples of Jesus.  I tend to think that the notion of an inner group of exactly 12 men is a creation of the primitive Christian community.  I think the truth is that Jesus probably had a lot of followers, some of whom came and went.  There was probably a core group that was with him the longest, but it wasn't necessarily exactly 12, and later there was a lot of controversy over who, precisely, had been part of this inner circle.  If this is correct, then we need to explain where the notion of "12" came from.  The pagan-influence theories suggest the 12 signs of the Zodiac (I think this is an argument made in Zeitgeist, in fact).  But this, of course, is silly.  Clearly the 12 Tribes of Israel would be the logical conclusion about where the notion of 12 disciples may have originated.  There is even a quote attributed to Jesus making this explicit comparison, when he tells his disciples that they will sit on 12 thrones judging the 12 tribes of Israel.  Furthermore, it is a perfect literary creation: just as the original 12 sons of Jacob became the patriarchs of the Jewish people, so the 12 disciples would become the patriarchs of the new Christian community, with their converts becoming the new 12 "tribes" - the new people of God. 

Ultimately, whether the existence of exactly 12 disciples is history or legend, it is distinctly Jewish, not pagan.  

In the end, I think it goes without saying that pagan beliefs had a lot of influence on later Church doctrine and theology.  I do not, however, think that pagan traditions had much influence on the telling of the stories about Jesus.  In fact, I'm not sure there is any reason to suppose that any of what we find in the gospels comes primarily from pagan tradition.  Now it's true, of course, that Judaism itself, by the time of Jesus and the gospels, was greatly Hellenized.  But only inasmuch as Judaism itself had been influenced by Greek culture and philosophy did any pagan thought, myth, or tradition play a role in the development of the gospels about Jesus.   

Notes from the Cave

After being scheduled off 6 days out of 9, I'm now in the middle of 7 days straight at work, with only one day down so far.  This is one of the downsides to hospital work - a rotating schedule.  The string of off days are great, but you pay for it in spades.

I think I've managed to avert a sinus infection by starting up a regimen of Zyrtec, allergy nose spray, and Breathe Right strips.  The nose spray and the Breathe Right are both new things for me, although the nose spray was actually prescribed last summer (no, the bottle is not expired yet).

I had a definite sinus infection coming on earlier this week, and the meds have basically stopped it in its tracks.  That's a good thing, considering my 7-days-in-a-row at work.  The thing that has been amazing are those Breathe Right strips.  I never actually knew how they worked.  Turns out, they are just like really stiff band-aids with an exceptionally sticky adhesive.  You stick them across the bridge of your nose, and the strip pulls the exterior of your nose outwards, which in turns widens your airway.  You feel sort of like your nose is a balloon full of air - but that's a good thing for someone like me who hasn't breathed clearly through my nose in, I dunno, about 10 years.  The widened airway not only helps you to breathe in more air, but it also clears congestion, because it allows your nasal passages to drain better (at least, I'm assuming that's how it works).  So not only do you suddenly feel like you could vacuum with your nose, but the congestion also goes away.  I've only used them two nights so far, but already I'm addicted.  I've literally been looking forward to bed time all day so I could put another one on.

Yes, this is the sort of shit that happens when you get old.  You start looking forward to applying Breathe Right strips to your nose.  Next thing you know, it'll be excitement over your daily glass of Ensure.  And before long, anticipation of Wheel of Fortune and the nurse coming in to change your diaper.

My sister, Lisa LeBon, is all a-tingle because a movie is being filmed at the university where she works.  Her husband, Simon LeBon, is out on tour right now with his band, Duran Duran, and she is biding her time by stalking Ryan Gosling and George Clooney.  Come to find out, Ryan Gosling and John Gosselin are not the same people, although I've always equated them together up until today.  You probably know Ryan Gosling from his guest appearance on Canada's Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, during season four's "Dragons' Lair" episode.

There was an article today on USATODAY.com about how scientists have recently pointed out that the big snowstorms in the northeast this year are consistent with the model of global warming.  As soon as I saw the headline, I knew the Comments section would make for some entertaining reading.  Here are a few tidbits:

From 411Patriot: Science used to be a widely respected field...... until the global warming lies were uncovered. It has made the entire scientific community hard to trust anymore..... nice job @ss wipes.

From libsrcrazy: These so-called scientists will blame every weather change on their global warming hoax!!! Give it up already! The jig is up.


From RockmanForte: Laugh while you can according to the bible. This world is going to get worse. Be warn just like in Noah's time. Stop laughing and starting study the bible (No, I dont mean go to church and listen to liars priests and nuns at all). WOKE UP!


From 6burgh: Unfortunately moonbat libs will believe it or actually dont believe it but think its cool to believe cause so hollyweird kook will say they believe in it. if that make sense.


There was at least one perceptive comment, from a person named soul68: I love all the inane comments from people on this board who probably couldn't pass a basic high school science class.


RANDOM PHOTO:


This is my grandfather, Oscar Kirby.  He died when I was 13.  The name of the horse escapes me (although I'm sure Lisa LeBon will remember it), but the picture was taken on the gravel entrance to his farm - probably circa 1982 or so - in Muhlenberg County, Kentucky, where both sides of my family have connections going back over 200 years.  His grandfather on his father's side was a Civil War veteran of the Confederacy, while his great-grandfather on his mother's side was a Civil War veteran of the Union.


You have NO IDEA how much I wish I could jump into this picture.    

Notes from the Cave

Now that we have gotten moved into our new house, and I finally have a man-cave for the first time in my life, I'm going to start a series called Notes From the Cave.  Of course, for all I know, this may be the only entry in the series, but we'll see.  In any case, these "Cave" posts won't be anything special - just random musings.

My parents drove up from Texas this past weekend with a U-haul load of furniture for our new house - hand-me-downs, mind you, not brand new stuff - and then we had movers come on Monday to move the big pieces from our old place to our new place.  There are still a lot of odds and ends and knick-knacks - most notably most of our hanging clothes - to bring over to the new house, but otherwise we are settling into the new digs.

I've been off the past two days, and am off again tomorrow, so I've had a little bit of time to work on the house, unboxing stuff and setting up furniture.  Unfortunately I had to keep one of my daughters home sick with me today, and will have to keep her home tomorrow too, so that has hampered the amount of work I've been able to get done.  Still, I got the entertainment center put together today, and the long-awaited man-cave is basically done.  I'm sitting at my full and complete desk for the first time in a long time - it's a large, L-shaped writing desk, but the "L" part of it has been in storage for all but a year or two of the last 6 years.  Behind me is the "library" - a series of bookshelves lined with all the books I have hoarded and collected and read over my adulthood.  I'm not sure how many there are, but it's several hundred - they took up about 30 boxes.

There is also a television and a couch, as well as my guitars, which I haven't been able to play much over the last few years since we've been living in an apartment.  The only bad thing about the man-cave is that a portion of it is a play area for the girls, with a bunch of their toys and books and such.  I don't mind sharing it - they need a place to spread out and play outside of their rooms - but that corner would also make a GREAT spot for a La-Z-Boy :)

When I can afford it, I'm going to get a small dorm-sized refrigerator and fill it with beer, and stick at the end of my desk where I can reach it without even having to get out of my chair :)  Getting up to get beer is SUCH a chore.

We like the new neighborhood we are in, but we haven't met any neighbors yet.  The backyard is fenced and backs up to a horse farm.  We haven't seen any horses, but I know they must roam around back there because I can see their calling cards all over the place (that's a nice way of saying there is shit everywhere).  I'm a little bit farther from work now, but only about 5 minutes.

RANDOM PHOTO:

This is me in college playing softball.  It's hard to believe I was ever this skinny.

I suck

To all my readers: I'm sorry I suck.

I think I'm depressed or something, because I just can't get motivated to write.  I haven't even been reading that much - I've only finished two books so far this year, and they were both short books.  Granted, my wife and I are REALLY busy right now, both of us working full time and simultaneously trying to pack and get moved into a new house, but that's only been going on for the last few weeks - I have no real excuse for before that, other than laziness and lack of interest.  I've tried for the last month to write a new essay on paganism and its influence on Christianity, but it simply will. not. come. out.  I've started it, trashed it, and started it again about five times now.  It's just not there.

The living situation, and general life situation, over the last year or so has really started weighing me down, I think, and even though we are finally moving, I still feel like I am out of sorts.  I think I'll feel better and more motivated in general once we finally get this move over with.  Right now, all the packing and all the actual moving, followed by all the unpacking - all while both of us are working full time - is looming over me like an enormous thunderhead.

I'm also fat now (I didn't used to be), and that doesn't help either.  Being fat sucks big time.  I don't sleep well, I'm tired all the time, my clothes don't fit, I can't move around as easily as I used to be able to, and my general self-image is in tatters.

Let's see...what else can I whine about?  There's a ton of laundry to do, the house is a wreck because we're moving, I've got an upset stomach, and I'm thirsty and there's nothing to drink.

I think I should start smoking again.  I was fat before I quit, but I've gotten even fatter since I quit, and the loss of motivation and interest in things I used to enjoy has only started since I quit smoking (i.e., the lack of motivation to write, losing interest in reading and scholarship, even [gasp!] a strange decrease in my libido).  That's something my quit smoking literature didn't warn me about.  I thought you were supposed to feel BETTER after you quit.  My lungs DO feel better, and I can breathe better now and don't cough constantly, but emotionally I think I feel a lot worse.

Okay fine, I'll stop.  The problem with a personal blog is that sometimes you let people see sides of you that would probably be best kept hidden - like the fact that I'm a hopeless whiner and self-absorbed baby who likes to throw pity parties :)

At least I have a good job and health insurance - two things I haven't always had in the last few years - and we are getting ready to move and get settled into a nice house in a nice neighborhood and finally get out of this hellish apartment  life we've been living for two years.

I'm still fat though.

Throwing Away the Alarm Clock

This is one of those poems I wish I had written.  Charles Bukowski was a big influence on my own little 2-year stint as a poet, and this is probably my favorite of his poems.  Enjoy.

Throwing Away the Alarm Clock


my father always said, "early to bed and
early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy
and wise."

it was lights out at 8 p.m. in our house
and we were up at dawn to the smell of
coffee, frying bacon and scrambled
eggs.

my father followed this general routine
for a lifetime and died young, broke,
and, I think, not too
wise.

taking note, I rejected his advice and it
became, for me, late to bed and late
to rise.

now, I'm not saying that I've conquered
the world but I've avoided
numberless early traffic jams, bypassed some
common pitfalls
and have met some strange, wonderful
people

one of whom
was
myself—someone my father
never
knew.

2010 Reading List

After an off-year in 2009 with only 22 books completed, I returned to a more normal reading schedule in 2010, completing 34 books.  That's not as much as my high-water mark in 2005, where I read 48 books, but it's the most I've done in a single year since 2007.  Of course, it's quality that really matters, not quantity.  

In any case, here's the list:

A Clergyman's Daughter - George Orwell

This was, I think, my third time through this novel, although it had probably been ten years since I'd last read it.  Orwell considered this his worst novel, calling it at various times "tripe" and "bollocks" and asserting that he wished he had never published it.  While it's certainly not his best work of fiction, it would suit the tastes of any genuine Orwell fan, I think.  It is a somewhat experimental book with an entire chapter written in stage play format.  Its central theme focuses on the loss of religious faith after the carefully built walls of the church facade are forced down (in this case, the central character develops amnesia and finds herself living on the street).  She eventually finds herself and returns to her carefully arranged life in the church, but she never regains her faith.

The Sunbird - Wilbur Smith

This was my second time through this novel.  It's a great early Wilbur Smith action novel (published in the early 70's) and centering on an archaeological dig in southern Africa.  It has all the elements of good adventure fiction, and it shocks you about halfway through the book by suddenly whisking you off from the present day back into the ancient culture that the archaeologists had been studying.  

Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut

I first got turned on to Kurt Vonnegut by a friend of mine a few years back, and after having read one of his novels and some short stories, I decided I might as well tackle  his most famous book.  It was funny and heart-wrenching and disturbing and informative.  Highly recommended.

God & Empire - John Dominic Crossan

A fantastic piece of historical scholarship by one of my favorite scholars of early Christianity.  

The Last Oracle - James Rollins

I used to be a huge Rollins fan, but in the last few years I've lost interest.  I really only read this book out of loyalty.  There's about 50 James Rollins's out there now, and all of them are copycats off each other.  I've more or less given the entire thriller genre up, because no one can do anything anymore that's not an attempt to re-write The Da Vinci Code.  

The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

Jesus, Interrupted - Bart D. Ehrman

The Stand - Stephen King

I finally read this novel after years of hearing how wonderful it was.  It was okay.  Shitty ending.  Somewhat bloated and self-absorbed.  Typical Stephen King fare.

The Secret Message of Jesus - Brian D. McLaren

Antony and Cleopatra - Colleen McCullough

Famous for The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCullough is a widely read historical novelist that I decided to try out in an effort to read more female authors.  This was actually the seventh book in a 7-book series on the fall of the Roman Republic.  It was terrible.  It took me two months to read because it was so boring.  I got the distinct impression she was trying to show off her immense and wide-ranging knowledge of ancient Roman geography and history.  Virtually every paragraph was inundated with place names and ancient Roman geographical references that left me totally overwhelmed and confused.  Telling me that such-and-such event occurred on the feast day of Jupiter along the southern coast of the Pontus Euxinus near Bythinia tells me absolutely nothing.  And these vague Latin place names went on and on and on, page after page after page.  Interspersed with this were literally about 3 million characters.  I have never read a book that introduced so many people.  And since they all, by necessity, had to have ancient Roman names, and since ancient Romans didn't have nearly as many unique names as we have in modern societies, damn near every character was Julius Antonious Commodius Marcus Cicero, and it was absolutely impossible to keep the characters straight.  Definitely won't read Colleen McCullough again.

The Dark of the Sun - Wilbur Smith

This was the final book of Wilbur Smith's "back catalogue" that I had not yet read.  With it, I have now read everything he's ever written, going back to the mid-1960's and covering about 40 novels.

Pirate Latitudes - Michael Crichton

Published posthumously from a completed manuscript left on his computer after he died, this was classic Crichton writing the way he wrote best.  It was a relief to read a Crichton book that didn't have a political agenda attached to it.

The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown

The only thriller writer who can write novels like Dan Brown is Dan Brown.  That's one reason I've more or less given up the genre - everyone has to be Dan Brown now, and it's annoying.  This one didn't have quite the spark of Angels and Demons or The Da Vinci Code, but it was pretty good.

The Summer Tree - Guy Gavriel Kay

This was the first book in a trilogy by an author who had been recommended to me a number of times by a friend.  I finally decided to try him out.  The trilogy is collectively called the Fionavar Tapestry and is very similar in style and substance to Lord of the Rings, but it manages to not seem like a total knock-off.  It is high fantasy writing, totally Tolkien-inspired, complete with a group of "good guys" going on a long journey across a fantastical countryside to stop the evil one who holds sway over the land.  If you loved Lord of the Rings, you'll  like this trilogy.  

Jesus - Marcus Borg

Hands down the absolute best work of scholarship on the historical Jesus that I have ever read - and I've read a lot.  If you asked me to recommend just one book on Christian scholarship, this would be it.

The Lost Gospel Q - edited by Marcus Borg

A transcription in book format of the hypothetical Q document.  It's interesting to read it this way, by itself, out of the foreign contexts in which the sayings were used by the Gospel writers.  

The Wandering Fire - Guy Gavriel Kay

Book two in the Fionavar Tapestry.  

The Darkest Road - Guy Gavriel Kay

Book three in the Fionavar Tapestry.  

Assegai - Wilbur Smith

Smith's most recent book.  He's been showing a strange tendency, in the last few years, to incorporate magic and fantasy into his novels - something I wish he'd quit doing.  

The Burning  Land - Bernard Cornwell

This was (I think) book 5 in the so-called Saxon Chronicles - Cornwell's series about Alfred the Great and the Viking invasion of England.  Great historical fiction.

The Lost Gospel of Judas - Bart Ehrman

An in-depth look at this newest "lost" gospel of early Christianity, by one of the world's leading experts on early Christian writings.  

Crocodile on the Sandbank - Elizabeth Peters

After years of listening to my mother giggle at Elizabeth Peters novels, I finally decided to try her out for myself.  She has not disappointed.  Her novels are set in late 19th century Egypt, and center on "Emerson and Peabody," married British archaeologists who spend their winters digging in Egypt.  They are absolutely wonderful.  It's Agatha Christie set during the golden age of Egyptology.  Definitely right up my alley.  These books are great escapist fiction.

The Curse of the Pharaohs - Elizabeth Peters

The Bormann Testament - Jack Higgins

This was my second time through this novel.

Eagle in the Sky - Wilbur Smith

My second time through this novel as well.  This is one of my favorite Wilbur Smith novels.  It reads just like a movie - easily the most cinematic book he has ever written.  

The Last Week - John Dominic Crossan and Marcus Borg

An interesting look at the final week of Jesus, as described in the Gospel of Mark.

Fever Dream - Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child

These guys, who co-author novels, are the only thriller writers I know  who have not come down with danbrownitis.  They still write exactly like they always have, and that's why I still read all their books.  This latest effort wasn't their best book ever, but it was still pretty good.

Agincourt - Bernard Cornwell

A great work of historical fiction about the Battle of Agincourt, one of the decisive battles of the Hundred Years' War.  It was before this battle that Henry V, as told by Shakespeare in the play of the same name, encouraged his soldiers by saying: "We few, we merry few, we band of brothers..."  Not to burst anyone's bubble, but the phrase "band of brothers" has nothing to do with World War II.  

The Authentic Gospel of Jesus - Geza Vermes

A saying-by-saying analysis of every single phrase attributed to Jesus in Matthew, Mark, and Luke.  Exhaustive in scope, this is definitely not a book for the casual reader.  

Lost Christianities - Bart Ehrman

The Winds of War - Herman Wouk

Having read two of his previous novels, I finally decided to delve into Wouk's epic series on World War II.  I've been familiar with this book, and its successor, since childhood, thanks to the major miniseries' that were based on them in the 1980's.   This book - about 800 pages - was absolutely fantastic.  Wouk's breadth of knowledge is staggering.  This book basically covers all the build-up to war in the late 1930's, telling the story through the eyes of several members of an American family.  It ends with the bombing of Pearl Harbor.  

The Mummy Case - Elizabeth Peters

Temples, Tombs, and Hieroglyphs - Barbara Mertz

"Barbara Mertz" is the real name of Elizabeth Peters.  In addition to being a novelist, she also has a Ph.D in Egyptology, and this book is labeled as a "popular history" of ancient Egypt.  It's a good introduction to Egyptian history.  

War and Remembrance - Herman Wouk

The follow-up to The Winds of War, this book exceeds 1000 pages.  Like the first, it is staggering in its scope.  At times, I felt that he got bogged down a bit too much in analyzing the war - it drew away, at times, from the narrative flow.  But all in all, it was a great book.  Reading these novels was like reading history books on World War II.  I learned more about World War II from these books than I have from any other source.  His depictions of the Holocaust are beyond description.  It's nothing you want to read, but it's something everyone should read.  What really hit home for me, more than anything else, was the realization that the Holocaust - with all its unthinkable horrors - was not perpetrated by some backward tribe in some backward Third World nation.  This was committed by a modern, western European nation with a long history of intellectualism and philosophy and music and art, and populated mostly by white Christians.  That's not a very comforting thing to think about.  

Reflections on 2010 Part II

Oh, so this wasn't enough for you?  Fine, I'll try to do better this time.

I've now typed out two entire blog posts and deleted both of them.  They just sound whiny and selfish.  Suffice it to say that this year has been tough.  An unstable job situation, extremely unstable financial situation, living in an apartment after 10 years of home-ownership (no, we didn't get foreclosed on, but we sold our last house and moved to a new town and have not yet been able to get into a new house), our 9-year-old dog died after a lengthy illness that was almost certainly brought on by the family stress of the last year and a half, and generally feeling extremely out of sorts and off kilter because of all the stress.

Towards the end of the year, things did begin to look up.  My job situation is - I think - beginning to smooth out, although I am still not working 40 hours per week (I am only guaranteed 32 hours per week, and even that doesn't actually always happen).  I also have a new part-time job opportunity with a friend of mine from high school in an online Japanese "Eikaiwa" company.  These companies help Japanese people - usually business people and students - to strengthen their English speaking and writing skills.  Specifically, I will be editing and sort of "grading" submitted writing samples, to help clients with their English writing skills.  The company is just getting off the ground, so I don't know what to expect in terms of monthly income, but it is an exciting opportunity nonetheless.

We also have finally bought a home, and that's certainly something to be excited about after more than a year in an apartment.  It happened rather suddenly.  A week earlier, I would have told you we had no chance of buying a house until at least the middle of 2011.  Then, almost overnight, we had put in a bid on a house about a mile down the road, in a neighborhood we had looked at several times.  I won't go into all the details, but we got the house for a steal because the owner wanted to unload it.  I think we are paying something like $20,000 - maybe even $25,000 - less than what it originally went on the market for.  Our monthly payment will be only slightly higher than our current apartment rent.  The house is two floors, three bedrooms and 2.5 baths, partially finished basement (which probably adds another 500 square feet), fenced yard, and mud room.  We're really excited about it and we feel like we've made a good investment as well, because we are getting the house for so much less than it's worth, and at such a low interest rate.

So anyway, 2010 wasn't a particularly banner year in our household, but we at least have some reason to hope for 2011 to be better.  And can you really ask for much more than that?  

Reflections on 2010

This year pretty much sucked.

Merry Christmas?

During this most wonderful time of the year, it just wouldn't be Christmas without mistletoe and greenery, eggnog and figgy pudding, Christmas songs and family gatherings, and endless outraged ranting from goofy evangelical Christians about saying "Merry Christmas."

This tired old discussion pops up every single year like an old fart wafting up from a basement couch.  In public places - at the checkout counter, perhaps - you'll hear people say: "Merry Christmas," with an ironic emphasis on the last word and a wry little smile that indicates a certain rebelliousness against evil secularism and the PC brigade that wants to desecrate Jesus's birthday.  

Or you'll come across it on places like Facebook and Twitter, or pundits on TV and mouthpieces on the radio.

Today, I had the misfortune of coming across a Facebook post on the page of a Cincinnati country radio station.  Being a country radio station, they are naturally a flag-waving, Jesus-loving, gun-toting bunch of Red-Blooded Americans, and the post said "Merry Christmas.  Pass it on," and included a picture of a billboard somewhere that reads: 

I miss hearing you say "Merry Christmas." 

~ Jesus

We'll ignore for a moment the blasphemous presupposition of putting words onto the lips of Jesus, or the ridiculous notion that no one says Merry Christmas anymore, and instead focus on the comments made by a number of people on this post.  

Here are a few of the more classic ones, reprinted verbatim:

I wish everyone I come in contact with...A Merry Christmas...No one can take that away from ME... So To Everyone... A Very Merry Christmas.... :0)

MERRY CHRISTMAS to EVERYONE!! AMEIN

It's Christmas...not Holiday!!! Dont remove Christ from HIS birthday!!!

Love it. The world is becoming way to PC and it needs to stop. It might hurt someones feelings? How did we survive way back when...sheeesh. Merry CHRISTmas everyone.

he [presumably Jesus] is prob. acutally thinking ...I miss hearing you say happy birthday jesus ! 

Aside from the misspellings, which these sorts of folks can always be relied upon to provide, the thing that strikes me most about these responses is that people really think of December 25th as "Jesus's birthday" - as though Jesus is their cousin and they are celebrating his birthday with cake and party hats.  The Facebook friend of mine who posted a link to this page made the following comment on the link: "Celebrate the birthday of THE KING! We will be making a birthday cake for Jesus this year."

Pardon my French, but are you fucking kidding me?

Here are a few facts relative to all of this:

1. We don't have any idea when Jesus was born, neither the year, nor (especially) the day and month.  Luke clearly conceived of Jesus being born during the warm months of the year, because shepherds would not have been in their fields during the winter.  But of course, Luke's entire story - like Matthew's - is not a literal account of historical facts, so the point is moot regardless.  The simple fact is that we don't know.  He may just as likely have been born on July 4th or October 31st or the Ides of March.

2. December 25th was chosen sometime in the 4th century C.E. for the day of Christ's Mass because that was already a traditional midwinter celebration day, honored as the birthday of several ancient gods, most notably the Roman sun god Sol Invictus.  Sol was a relatively "new" god for the Romans, instituted in the 200's C.E.  His name meant "Unconquerable Sun," and it is easy to see why this Roman god could be equated with Jesus - the unconquerable "son."  (It is important to note, of course, that the linguistic connection between "sun" and "son" was not as explicit in ancient Greek as it is in English.  Still, equating Jesus with the sun - the great giver of life and light - was already by this time a very old Christian tradition).

3. The word "X-mas" does not equate to "taking Christ out of Christmas" or "x-ing out Christ."  This is something I was taught as a child - that the word "X-mas" was borderline blasphemous.  In ancient Christian tradition, the Greek letter Chi - X - was an abbreviation for the word "Christ."  The reason for this abbreviation is simple: X was the first letter of "Christ" in Greek!  It also made a nice play on words, since X is also the symbol of the cross.  In numerous Christian manuscripts of the late Middle Ages, Jesus is referred to as X, or XP (P - the Greek letter Rho - being the second letter of the Greek form of "Christ").  In fact, there was even a Christian symbol - called the Labarum - which artistically depicted X and P wound together, which dates all the way back to Constantine the Great in the early 4th century C.E.  This symbol - also called the Chi-Rho - was one of Constantine's military emblems after his conversion to Christianity.

4. Saying "Happy Holidays" does not equate to secularizing Christmas.  It is a fact of modern society that numerous holidays - many of them celebrated by the majority of Americans - fall between the end of November and the end of December.  There are no less than six that are celebrated by the majority of Americans (two at Thanksgiving, two at Christmas, and two at New Year's).  Furthermore, there are several other holidays celebrated by a lot of folks in December, most notably Hanukkah and Boxing Day.  Thus, "Happy Holidays" recognizes that we do a lot of celebrating from the end of November to the end of December.

5. If you are talking to a stranger, and you have no idea what their religious background is or what their personal feelings are about the Christmas holiday, why in the world would you say "Merry Christmas" to them?  Regardless of whether it offends them or not, it's just pointless - as pointless as saying "Happy New Zealand Independence Day" to a Lithuanian.  Insisting on saying "Merry Christmas" to people who don't celebrate Christmas is simply Christian bullying.  There is no other way to describe it.  It's bullying not because the phrase "Merry Christmas" is mean-spirited, but simply because the insistence on saying it to every person you come in contact with - even strangers about whose religious beliefs and celebratory traditions you know nothing - can be a crude form of unwelcomed proselytizing.

6. People who get offended over hearing someone say "Merry Christmas" to them need to lighten up.  Yes, that may seem to be switching gears from the argument I've been making, but I'm just as capable as the next guy of being reasonable.  I don't have a problem with "Merry Christmas."  I think people who DO have a problem with "Merry Christmas" need to get their priorities straight.

What I am lashing out against here is not "Merry Christmas" per se, but against the insistence by goofy evangelicals to shove it down everyone's throat and act morally outraged that a  lot of Americans don't celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday - and who like to imagine that this is somehow a new trend!  That's perhaps one of the funniest things about these arguments - that, in their moral outrage, these folks imagine that this secularizing of Christmas is new, that somehow fifty years ago, every American was a Jesus-centered Christian who solemnly kept Christ in Christmas.  In mainstream American society, Christmas ceased being a religious holiday about 100 years ago.

So, to wrap this thing up, let me quote the immortal Christmas wishes of South Park's Mr. Garrison:

In case you hadn't noticed, it's Jesus's birthday, so get off your heathen Hindu ass and fucking celebrate.

Another Pleasant Valley Thursday

I stole and adapted that title from my sister's blog.

Well, November 2010 was the first month since I started blogging in 2006 that I have not put up a single blog post.  Now, it's only been about 33 days since I last posted, and I've probably gone longer than that before, but I've never missed a whole month.

Not sure why I didn't blog last month.  It's not like I was exceptionally busy or anything.  I just have run out of ideas for the moment, I think.  I started an essay a few weeks ago - on the authorship of the books of the New Testament - but have not yet finished it.  Not sure if I even will.

Otherwise, that's about all I've got.  I've started working out again, although it's only tenuous at this point.  I'm hoping to make it a regular thing.  So far I've been managing about twice a week.  I also quit smoking about 6 weeks ago, after about 3 years of the habit.  I'm a rare bird in that I didn't start smoking until I was over 30.  I started in 2007 when I was in school full time and working full time.  I was influenced by all the smokers at work who constantly took smoke breaks, and the fact that I was under a lot of stress.  Not that it's anyone's fault but my own.  I'm glad to have quit, however.  The problem, of course, is that my appetite has increased since I quit.  I've always been an overeater, but it's worse now.  I suppose you tend to replace nicotine with carbs and calories.

A few quick comments on recent issues:

1. I don't have a problem with airport body scanners from the standpoint of privacy.  If someone sees Big Jim and the Twins, that doesn't concern me.  We all have the same parts, after all.  My concern, as a hospital radiographer, is about radiation exposure, especially for frequent fliers and aircraft personnel (like pilots and attendants).  The biological effects of frequent exposure to those people is not fully known, particularly considering that they are already receiving higher yearly doses of natural background radiation because they fly so often - radiation doses are higher at higher altitudes.

2. Sarah Palin is a clown and it makes me weep for the future that so many people take her seriously.

3. How come the same people who are up in arms over the budget deficit are also viciously opposed to raising taxes for anyone, even the wealthy?  The budge is funded by taxes.  That's the basis of the entire existence of the federal government.  How can the budget deficit be overcome without a raise in taxes to help equalize it?  Obviously cutting spending is an integral part of the scenario too, but without raising taxes as well, cutting spending alone will not solve the problem - at least not if you want to actually have a government left at the end.

4. Repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and let gay people get married.  Anything less is open discrimination.

5. WikiLeaks provides an important service to the world community, and their exposure of military atrocities in Iraq and Afghanistan is significant.  However, I think releasing confidential diplomatic correspondence is irresponsible and could have a legitimate negative impact on foreign relations.

6. I hope the Cleveland Cavaliers fans riot tonight and break both of LeBron James's legs.

7. Okay, not really, but I'm looking forward to hearing them harass him.  I wouldn't be so against him if it wasn't for the fact that he is such a blatantly arrogant, overpaid, over-privileged little fuck.

8. North Carolina was obviously overrated at the start of the men's basketball season, and that is now proving true in the regular season.  It warms the cockles of my UK Wildcat heart.

9. Put a pilgrim hat on him and buckled shoes, and Mitch McConnell could look like he just left the Salem Witch Trials.

10. North Korea is such a joke that it's hard to take them seriously.  They are this tiny little nation with virtually no strong allies (not even China) and yet they are acting like they are going to destroy the world or something.  It's like a mouse waving its fist at a pit bull.

The Boy King, the Governor, and the Dwarf

When we study history, we tend to have a profound sense of the gap that separates us from our subjects. Reading, for instance, about Cleopatra's decision to nobly commit suicide by snake bite, rather than be paraded as a captive through Rome by the triumphant Octavian, can provide interesting and intriguing insights into history, but the gap between us and them - the chasm between our world views and theirs - is difficult to cross. The world was an immensely different place for them than it is for us.

But sometimes we read stories from history that seem to bridge that chasm and bring about a sense of unity with our ancient subjects, leading us to the realization that humans of the ancient past really weren't so much different than we are today.

Such is the case with the ancient Egyptian king known as Pepi II, a ruler of the Old Kingdom of Egyptian history, living around 2200 B.C.E.

Pepi II in childhood

Pepi is famous, primarily, for being credited with the longest monarchical reign of any king or queen in all of world history. We have two sources for his reign. The earliest is the so-called Turin King List, which was created around the time of Ramses II - roughly 1200 B.C.E. This document lists all the kings prior to Ramses and gives their length of reign. Pepi II is credited with 90 years in this text. The second source comes from the writings of Manetho, a historian who lived around 250 B.C.E. He credits Pepi II with a 99 year reign.

Traditionally, historians have split the difference and suggested a reign of roughly 94 years. Some modern experts, however, are skeptical of this. When ancient Egyptians wrote about things the king said or did, they tended to date their work. Thus, we may find a royal proclamation dated to Year 7 of the reign of so-and-so. In the case of Pepi II, we have found nothing dated beyond Year 64 of his reign. This, of course, does not mean he must necessarily have died shortly thereafter; it could be that we simply haven't yet found whatever artifacts may still exist from that period. This lack of archaeological evidence beyond Year 64, however, is what has led to the modern disputes.

In any case, whether 64 or 94 years, Pepi II ruled for a very long time, particularly by ancient Egyptian standards. Even at 64 years, he'd have the second longest reign of any ruler of ancient Egypt - a period covering roughly 3,000 years.

We know from archaeological evidence that Pepi took the throne as a 6-year-old. Only two statues of Pepi have ever been found, and both depict him as a boy king. On one, he is perched lovingly on the lap of his mother.

Pepi is depicted here in the royal headdress worn only by kings.

It is from this period of Pepi's reign that we find a story that is rather striking in its ability to bridge the gap between the modern and the ancient.

Like the other rulers of his era, Pepi's capital was in northern Egypt, at Memphis (near modern Cairo). Being based so far from his southern border, he needed strong governors in the south to maintain peace and commerce. One of these governors was a man named Harkhuf, who had served first under Pepi's father, then under Pepi. He probably died while Pepi was still a boy king.

Based out of an island city called Elephantine, Harkhuf was not just a governor, but also an explorer into the nether regions south of the Egyptian kingdom. In the area of modern day Sudan, these regions were wild and mysterious to the ancient Egyptians, but full of precious metals and trade goods. Harkhuf evidently made several trading journeys into this region, bringing back with him numerous valuables which he delivered to the king at Memphis.

Following one of these expeditions, he returned to Elephantine and sent a letter north to the boy king Pepi providing a list of the things he had procured, promising to bring them to the king as soon as possible. Among other things, he apparently told Pepi that he had discovered, and brought back with him, a dwarf from "the land of the spirits." Dwarfs, who likely came from the pygmy tribes of central Africa, were highly prized by the ancient Egyptians, and were believed to have supernatural powers. Like dwarfs of the 19th century and even today, they also provided a source of entertainment.

We know of this story about Harkhuf and the dwarf because a letter of response that Pepi sent back to Harkhuf was inscribed on Harkhuf's tomb in southern Egypt. It is dated to Year 2 of Pepi's reign (which actually means the fourth year, because regnal years were biennial - meaning 730 days instead of 365). So Pepi was about 10 years old. Here's what the letter says (with a few parts cut out, or summarized, for length's sake; also, note that when Pepi says "my Majesty," he is referring to himself):

I have noted the matter of your letter, which you have sent to the king, to the palace, in order that one might know that you have descended in safety from Yam [that is, the mysterious region south of Egypt]...You have said in your letter that you have brought all great and beautiful gifts...

You have said in your letter that you have brought a dancing dwarf of the gods from the land of spirits...You have said to my Majesty: "Never before has one like him been brought by any other who has visited Yam."

Come northward to the court immediately. Bring this dwarf with you, which you have taken living, prosperous and healthy from the land of spirits, [so that he may] warm and gladden the heart of the king of Upper and Lower Egypt, Neferkare [that is, Pepi II], who lives forever.

When he goes down with you into the boat, appoint excellent people who will be beside him on each side of the boat. Take care that he does not fall into the water. When he sleeps at night, appoint excellent people who will sleep beside him in his tent. Check on him ten times a night. My Majesty desires to see this dwarf more than the gifts of Sinai and of Punt. If you arrive at court with this dwarf still living, prosperous, and healthy, my Majesty will do [great things for you], since it is the heart's desire of my Majesty to see this dwarf.

This may be the most precious thing I have ever read in an ancient document or inscription. More than all the silver and gold and precious jewels, more than all the trade goods and valuable donations to the palace, the boy king really, really, really wants to see this dwarf!

Harkhuf must have made it to Memphis with the dwarf safely in tow; the fact that he inscribed Pepi's letter of praise on his tomb is evidence of this. If he had failed, the letter would have been like a condemnation and a reminder of the failure.

As such, we can envision the 10-year-old boy king bouncing with delight as this little pygmy from central Africa astounded the court with his spirit dances and magic tricks. But more than anything else, the boy king's undisguised excitement at the prospect of seeing the dwarf is what really connects us to the past. He was just a kid, not much different than kids today, who would also be delighted at the pranks and antics of a costumed dwarf.

As we saw above, Pepi went on to live a very long time. As he grew older, the stability of his government weakened. This fact may provide evidence to support the notion that he ruled well into his 90's. In his last decades - no doubt a feeble old man - he was not able to keep the same level of control over his nation and its more ambitious provincial rulers. After his death, Egypt fell apart, beginning the era that Egyptologists call the First Intermediate Period. Centralized government collapsed, and Egypt fell into a state of decay, with various rulers ruling small regions from local capitals, often warring with each other. This lasted for about 100 years, until Egypt was finally united again under a powerful southern ruler named Mentuhotep II. He defeated his northern counterpart and established the Middle Kingdom of ancient Egyptian history.

But regardless of what happened late in his reign, or after his reign, it is this story from the early years of his reign, as a boy king perched on his mother's lap, that has the ability to warm the heart and connect us, in common humanity, with figures of the ancient past.

Melancholy and Diarrhea

So, I'm an ancestry.com addict. I first got interested in genealogical research around 2004, and with a subscription this year to ancestry.com, I've been able to uncover a lot of new information about my family.

If you're interested in researching your family, ancestry.com is definitely well worth the money.

Being a history buff, I love finding family connections to important events in history. It just gets me all a-tingle.

Just to give a brief (ha) run-down:

* So far, I have found ancestry through England, Germany, Switzerland, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, and France. So much for picking just one nationality to explain your heritage. For what it's worth, through the male line in my family, we are of English decent. I have traced my male family name back to the 1600's in Leicestershire, England. These ancestors seem to have arrived in Virginia in the 1630's, just a few years after the Mayflower.

Bosworth Battlefield in Leicestershire.  It was here that Richard III became the
last English king to die in battle, in the late 1400's.  

* I was surprised to discover a French line in my family. In the U.S., people tend to think of folks with French heritage all living in Louisiana. However, through one of my maternal lines, I have discovered French descent. This ancestor was named James Boisseau, and he was a French protestant living in Saumur, France. Saumur was a strongly protestant area in the otherwise largely Catholic France, and there is a chateau there that was first built in the 900's by the Count of Blois, an ancestor to Stephen of Blois, who became King of England in the 1100's. The original chateau was destroyed around the time of William the Conquerer in the 1060's, and was later rebuilt by Henry II, nephew of King Stephen.

The Chateau de Saumur

As for James Boisseau of Saumur, he was born in the 1650's, and was a protestant minister in the Reformed tradition of Calvin. These French protestants were known as Huguenots. He was born during a time of religious unease in France, and in 1685, Louis XIV outlawed protestant religion in France with the Edict of Fontainebleau. This led to a mass exodus of Huguenots, of which my ancestor James Boisseau was one. He sought refuge in England, but did not stay long. Upon arriving there, he applied for passage to the New World, and was granted emigrant status to be a "Huguenot minister to the colonists."

After reaching Virginia, he married a woman from Salem, Massachusetts, in 1691. Perhaps she had fled to Virginia because she was a witch and was trying to evade the Witch Trials, which were all the rage at the time. Or not. In any case, they brought forth their first born son in 1692 and named him James.

The family stayed in Virginia for several generations (Dinwiddie County, to be precise), and a great-grandson - John Boisseau - fought in the Revolutionary War as a 16-year-old volunteer. He fought in the Battle of Camden, which was a significant defeat for the colonists against the British under the famous Lord Cornwallis, and he also fought at the Battle of Petersburg (a Virginia city more famous for its Civil War battles).

This Boisseau family eventually produced my maternal grandmother, who was born in Kentucky.

* Some of my paternal ancestors were evidently reasonably wealthy landowners in Virginia who also owned quite a few slaves. I have found a Last Will and Testament of my great(x6) grandfather from the 1760's in which he doles out his slaves by name to each of his children. They had names like Old Peter and Young Peter, Morning, Old Beck, Moses, Quon, Blackman, and Judah.

* Most of my ancestors, particularly on my father's side, were uneducated farmers. On census form after census form, I find ancestors listed as unable to read and write. These census forms are interesting because they also frequently list occupations. The occupation of virtually all the women is "keeping house," and while "farmer" and "laborer" are most common among the men, I have found things like "shoe and boot maker" and "wagon maker."

* None of my direct ancestors fought in either World War I or World War II. The ages of the various men in my family virtually disqualified all of them from either of these conflicts. I have known all my life, however, that I had an ancestor who fought in the Civil War. This is my paternal great-great grandfather, who was called "Clipper." I was aware, however, that he was already older than I am now when the Civil War broke out (late 30's), so I have long assumed he probably didn't take part in much real fighting. In addition to other discoveries, however, I've discovered that this probably isn't true.

To begin with, I have (to date) found not just one, but ten ancestors who fought in the Civil War. Most of them probably knew each other, and all of but one of them fought in the same regiment together.

Both of my father's parents were from the same region in western Kentucky. This explains why both my paternal grandfather and grandmother had ancestors who fought together in the same regiment. In late 1861, after the Civil War began earlier in the summer, the Confederates moved into western Kentucky, heading for the Ohio River, which was one of the big landmarks between the north and the south. As a result of this, the Union army mustered volunteer regiments in western Kentucky to fight these Confederates. My great-great grandfather Clipper enlisted as a private in October of 1861, trained for six weeks, then joined the 11th Kentucky Volunteer Regiment in December. He joined up with two younger brothers - Jesse and James - and two cousins - Samuel and Elijah. Additionally, they were joined by a cousin-in-law of Jesse - his wife's cousin. So there were six of them that all signed up on the same day, trained at the same camp, and joined the same regiment.

Three ancestors of my paternal grandmother were also part of this same regiment. A fourth fought with the 27th Kentucky.

I found some interesting biographical details of each of these people. My great-great grandfather Clipper came through unscathed, and was noted as having led a division of his men in the march to Shiloh, a major battle in which the regiment fought. His youngest brother, James, also came through the war unscathed.

His middle brother, Jesse, was captured in a skirmish in October of 1863 prior to the siege of Knoxville. He was taken to Belle Island Prison, in Richmond, before being transferred in February of 1864 to the infamous Andersonville Prison Camp outside Atlanta. Nearly 1 in 4 Union soldiers in this camp died of malnutrition, starvation, and disease, and the Confederacy was accused of war crimes because of it. My great-great grandfather's brother Jesse was a victim. He died of dysentery there in May of 1864.

The Andersonville Prison Camp

The two cousins - Samuel and Elijah - both died of sickness outside the field of battle. Poor Samuel never even made it out of Kentucky. He died of pneumonia in December of 1861 before the regiment ever marched. Elijah died about a year later, in December of 1862, of typhoid.

As for my grandmother's ancestors, one of her great-grandfathers - Christopher C. Moore - was wounded severely on December 31, 1862, at the Battle of Stone's River, which took place near Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Another great-grandfather, David Ewing, spent much of the war on sick leave, including a period listed as AWOL, and was eventually discharged in 1863 for disability. Humorously enough, his disability was listed as "melancholy and diarrhea." This could literally be the title of a book about my grandmother's family.

This David Ewing also had a brother who fought with the regiment, and he was killed in action at the aforementioned Battle of Stone's River. This great-great-great grand-uncle is the only ancestor I've found so far who was actually killed in action. Considering that it was just a few months later that David Ewing was discharged for "melancholy and diarrhea," this "melancholy" was presumably related to his brother's death. Not sure about the diarrhea.

After the war, my great-great grandfather Clipper came home, only to have his wife die a year later, in early 1866. Being that he needed a woman at home to cook his meals and warm his bed, he remarried the following year to a woman about half his age. This woman was Rhoda Ann Hudnall, the sister of Jesse's widow (Jesse, you'll recall, was the brother who died in the POW camp). Clipper and Rhoda had a number of children, including my great-grandfather, and they named their last son Jesse, in honor of Clipper's dead brother.

Clipper and Rhoda.  Such is the stock from whence I come.

Luke and Mandy.  Luke was the son of Clipper and my great-grandfather.
I'm not sure if he's trying to look like Wyatt Earp or not, but he pulls it off.
And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't kick Mandy out of bed.  Just sayin'.  

* Two of my ancestors were named Greenberry.

* I have a lot of good Puritans in my family. I've found names like Goodman, Temperance, and Pleasant.

* Sometimes, genealogical research disproves family stories. I grew up always being told that I had Native American on my mother's side. The story was that my mother's father had a grandmother who was full Cherokee. Unless the information I've gotten from ancestry.com is completely and totally wrong (and there's really not any way that it is), this story is apparently a myth. We're all good red-blooded Europeans. My mother's father, and his brothers, all had leather, tawny skin, and perhaps this is where the story came from.

* Sometimes, genealogical research turns up stories you'd rather not have known. As above, unless the information I'm getting at ancestry.com is unreliable, there was a touch of inbreeding going on in my mother's family in the early 1800's. Hardy and his wife Dorothy Kirby had several children, two of which were James and Elizabeth. Elizabeth, who was much older, married Matthew Summerville and had a daughter named Mary Summerville. Mary decided her uncle James looked mighty fine, so they hooked up and produced my great-grandfather, whose son was my mother's father. Maybe that explains the "Native American" look of that family!!

* To the best of my knowledge, the first people in my entire family history to have college degrees were my parents and their various siblings and cousins. I can't speak for all the great-grand uncles and aunts and all the 3rd cousins twice removed, but among my direct ancestors, it wasn't, apparently, until the mid-20th century that anyone attained a college education.

* The farthest back I've been able to take a particular branch of the family is into the 1400's in England. I've taken a different branch back to the early 1500's in Wales. In both of these cases, however, I am relying mainly on other public family trees, and I can't really be certain that the information is accurate, since I have no idea where it comes from. The farthest back I've been able to go with relative certainty is to the mid-1600's with several different lines.

Luke and Mandy again, now with their children.  My grandfather is on the back left, in the white shirt.
Check out Ears McGillicutty, at right.  

Paul vs. Matthew: A Christian Conundrum

From Paul's letter to the Romans, circa 58 C.E., chapter 7, verse 6:

But now we are discharged from the Law, dead to that which held us captive, so that we are slaves not under the old written code but in the new life of the Spirit.

From Matthew's Gospel, circa 85 C.E., from the lips of Jesus during the Sermon on the Mount, chapter 5, verses 17 to 20:

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.